I need to get away from this space, these few square feet that trap me and are making me go backward. I need to get away from the influence that this place and my family has on me. I need something different, because this taste in my mouth won't go away until I go away.
Change is what I need, variation; I am free; I am not alive when I'm caged like this. I need movement. I need to fly near the stars and drift in the wind.
I need to be able to go where I want when I want, without notifying anyone. I need to be able to disappear once in a while. I need privacy. I need to be untethered.
I'm slogging through thick mud, not unscathed. It's getting in my ears, making me deaf; it's getting in my mouth, making me silent; it's going down my throat, into my lungs, gathering in my stomach, becoming a heavy lump of dead, and it's choking me.
I was made free; but they have again tied me down. I have had a taste of life, and now I need it to survive.
My eyes burn when I look into the light; I was just getting adjusted to its intensity. These months of darkness have been terrible.
I need to get out. If I am to stay sane, I need to get out. I've cut myself from them, and they can't have me back. They can love me from a distance. But this close I am smothered. I'm responsible for none but myself; they can't put guilt on me.
April, April, April, I can see you on paper, I can feel you coming. But why aren't you here yet? Why are you taking so long?
I've run out of time.
Let me go.
1 comment:
Hang in there Chloe, April is just around the corner. It will be here sooner than you think.
You need to perform a musical number in church! I love that you are teaching yourself piano and that you have such a passion for it. You need to post some more pictures of your hair. I know a girl who wants to cut hers and I want her to see what you did.
Post a Comment