Reflections on the Year 2008

2008 was a really eventful year. So many things happened, including:

*Moved to Michigan

*Got mostly A's in all my classes in the last semester in highschool

*Graduated highschool

*Went to my first semester of college

*Made lots of friends

*Found myself

*Had my first kiss

Overall, a most awesome year. And a non-boring one, which, I don't think, happens too often to me. I'm sad that it's ending, and I'm not all too happy that a new year is beginning, because I don't like the unknown. I hope 2009 will be another good year.

Today, all I did was paint and read. It was a good day. I've been struck with sudden creativity and inspiration, and I hope it lasts a while.

Now, on to the celebration! (I get to welcome in the New Year before anyone else, 'cuz I'm EST! Owned! Besides you, Sis. P)

In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

Last night I was challenged by my friend to have a day so fun that he'd be jealous that he wasn't here, and he would try to have a day so fun that I'd be jealous that I wasn't there. He had it easy. But it was a challenge, and I accepted. 

So I woke up at 6-something all of a sudden, for no reason at all. I was just...awake. I was confused right when I woke up about where I was, because I slept on an air mattress in the family room. But I lay there for a minute as my brain slowly woke up, and then I realised where I was. Da came into the family room and did stuff on the laptop, and I read Harry Potter #6. Then I got tired and lay my head down and was half-asleep, and then I was all the way asleep. I woke up again at 10am and just lay there. I didn't want to get up. But I did, and had breakfast, and then got ready, 'cuz we went to see a movie for Giselle's 13th B-day. We saw "Bedtime Story" with Adam Sandler. It was good. Kinda reminded me of "Night At The Museum", but it was cool. Not crude at all. I took a few photos while at the theatre. Then we went home, and I had lunch, and then at 3:30pm went down to the shopping district. On the way there I listened to music from my iPod that I plugged in to the car. I turned it up really loud and sang along sometimes. That's one of the best things in the world, blasting music. Especially in a car, because then you're all enclosed and surrounded by sound. It was way windy outside, and cold. I returned a CD to Target, then went to Hobby Lobby and browsed for a while, and lamented over the high prices and my lack of true artistic talent. No, really. I just do it for fun; I'm not that good. Sure, I may have "potential" or whatever, but potential does not make a great painting. Anyways, I had fun there. As I was checking out (I got a big thing of crimson paint, payne's gray, and a life-sized paper drink-umbrella thing. It's so cool!!), I looked outside, and saw the sun shining its last rays on some buildings, so that the buildings were lit up all orange and the background was dark gray overcasty clouds. That's the best. So I was upset when checking out took a long time. I rushed outside to my car, drove around the stores to the back, where I had a clear view of the sunset, then hurriedly parked the car and jumped out and furiously photographed the last few minutes of the sunset. I wish I had been there earlier; it was spectacular. 

After the sunset fun, I didn't want to go home, but didn't know what else to do, so I drove over to the mall parking lot and listened to my music and read HP6. Then mum called and said that wasn't safe, so I went inside the mall and read. Did that for about 2 hours, then got really hungry and called to see what was up. Nothing, as always, so I invited Aurora out to eat. I picked her up and we didn't know where to go, so eventually I just chose Olive Garden, 'cuz I've only ever been there once. We had fun there. But it was a lot more expensive than I thought it'd be, so we split an entree. Then we went to Barnes and Noble and I got three books- The Complete Idiot's Guide to Playing Piano, Anatomy and Physiology Coloring Workbook, and Theory and Harmony for the Contemporary Musician. I'm really excited about the A&P book, because it looks really informative and helpful. I do have an anatomy coloring book, but that's just anatomy. I like physiology tambien. It was $50 though....but I don't regret buying it. 

So a summary:

*Read a lot

*Got some sweet photos of snow

*Got some sweet photos of a theatre

*Got some sweet photos of my shopping expeditions

*Got some sweet photos of the sunset

*Got some sweet photos of my funtime with Aurora

*Ate at Olive Garden

*Talked to EK- she called me!! I haven't had a friend who calls me just to talk in....forever!! We're officially best friends, by the way, and I haven't had a best friend in forever. I'm so happy!

*Went to Barnes & Noble

*Got some awesome books, an awesome umbrella, and some paint

*Was kept safe

*Had fun listening to music in the car

*Had fun driving

*Saw a beautiful sunset

*The moon looked so cool

*Watched a cool movie

*Helped mum a teensy bit

*Enjoyed the beauty of outside

*Got a letter from one of my missionaries

I'm gonna include some stuff from last night too:

*Watched some of "V for Vendetta" (edited on TV, of course-I'm planning on watching the rest tonight)

*Had good dreams

*Slept with feather blankets

*Talked to a lot of friends on Facebook, and established that one of my friends was indeed my friend and wasn't just pretending to be (both the talking to friends and the establishing a friendship made me really happy; I've been feeling really lonely and this helped a LOT. Heavenly Father answers prayers!!!)

*Watched some of Planet Earth with Mum- This show is WAY cool!

Oh, an incident:

We were driving up the driveway to go into the garage when we saw a little rodent thing that lives with its two other family members in my window area. It was running around the front lawn, and then ran onto the driveway. Mum said, "Run over it with the car!" (Aurora was driving), and I think Mum was only half-serious. Except we moved forward and looked back, and Aurora had run over it a little bit, so when I turned to look around at it, I saw it on its back, legs moving as if it were trying to run, suffering. Mum told Da to go out and kill it, hurry, it's suffering. I screamed a little bit then covered my ears with my hands and leaned forward, putting my head down. I even had some tears. My reaction surprised me. I didn't know I'd do that. But I can't get that image out of my head, the little thing frantically peddling the air. I've  gotten so used to 'em by my window, scratching in the night, and now there will only be two. It's sad.

So yeah. I still need to do my jobs and then watch "V for Vendetta". And Hobby Lobby is hiring, and Aurora said she can get me a job at Hollister. Once again, Heavenly Father answers prayers! I had a good day.

Queer...I don't have a post that starts with "Q"

I like how there's only one person who reads my blog.

But it's rant time. 

Back only two weeks and already the ugly guy in our ward has asked me to a social gathering on New Year's Eve.  None of the guys in our ward here are cute, but this guy is the ugliest and stupidest of 'em all. Same as in MO, also. Fat, ugly, pimply, greasy guy stalked me. Why is it I who attracts the stupid ones? Why can't Aurora have the ugly ones like her? Does this mean that I am ugly and fat and stupid also? Because if you use the reason that "maybe they did like Aurora also but were too scared to approach her" then that means that she was more intimidating than me which means that she was prettier than me which means that I'm ugly, because the ugly girls are always approachable. Someone explain this to me. 

Other than that, today it was freezing again. We got a "light dusting" of snow last night, and it was windy. I went on a walk anyways though. And I stayed after church and played piano for an hour. I've been waiting for two weeks. TOO LONG!! You just can't substitute the sound of a real piano, nor can you substitute playing a real piano, with a keyboard. And one hour was too short. I wish we had one at home; I'd be on it all the time. I need lessons.

I want to go back to college; it's just too crazy here. Too boring. I'm gonna need to get real inventive. I'll write a book: 1001 Ways to Entertain Yourself When You Have No Money and No Friends and No Place to Go. It'll be an instant hit and then I'll have money. 

So I'm gonna die in a couple of weeks. It's cool though; I'm sure there'll be stuff to do Over There.

X(

Consumerism and Fog

There was fog today. Fog and rain and damp and perfect. It's raining right now, actually. The temperature outside is perfect and the snow is melting. I went out for a spontaneous walk with camera in hand and iPod in ear. I hadn't planned on going far, but I did. Which is why it was spontaneous. I didn't tell anyone I was going, I just went. I called later to let them know I was gone. It was really foggy when I first came out, more so around the forest areas. The air was chill. It wasn't raining. I took my iPod out soon after I got outside. The silence was more beautiful. Sometimes there were gaps in the fog, and you could see the clouds gliding across the ground in bunches. It was really windy, because the fog was a lot colder than the air. It was so awesome; I wish I could describe it better. There were times when you could walk from clear air to thick fog, and you could feel and see when you had walked into it, it was so much colder. I got some great pictures.

I'm not describing it well at all. It was perfect. And I'll leave it at that.

Yesterday I went to the mall all by meself. I was kinda scared, but after I got in there, I just ignored everyone. I spend forever in Claire's and got 3 pairs of wicked-sweet earrings and two rings. I then went to Maurices and got an awesome sweater-type thing that I'm wearing now. Then I went to Charlotte Russe and got lots of clothes for cheap. Way cuteness. 

I'm bored with blogging. Going away now.

Christmas Post, in which I do talk about Christmas

A rundown of the day, mmkay?

Woke up at 7am, dawdled in the room a bit, got ready for the day, went up to find Da making breakfast, chilled in the kitchen for about an hour, woke Mum and everyone else up, and had Christmas. I didn't get many presents, but the ones I got were awesome. Mum and Da replaced my camera, I got a cool calendar as per tradition, I got a scarf, two pairs of gloves, lots of candy, mini-ketchup and mini-tobasco that Da brought back from Las Vegas, some beginner piano book thingies (I was SOO excited when I opened these! I have been wanting some beginner's stuff for so long! I think this was my favourite gift, followed closely by the camera) and a few other things that were perfect and really thoughtful, but that weren't mega-expensive or what most people would think are cool. All my gifts this year were perfect, save two, and those two that weren't perfect were the expensive ones that Mum said she didn't care if I returned. She didn't know what to get me, and she said she wouldn't get her feelings hurt if I returned this stuff. I hope I don't sound like a spoiled brat, but I could put the money to better use than what I got. All my gifts were small and not "awesome" in the "normal" sense, but they were perfect and I think this is one of the best Christmases I've had in a long time. We opened gifts person by person, making it last way longer than it would have been. And we got to see what everyone else got, and be happy for them. Ya know, I'm glad that not a lot of money was spent on me. It's the quality (or rather, how "applicable", for lack of a better word, it is to me), not quantity, that I care about. I would be more happy with some "junk" picked out from the Dollar Tree or the Thrift Store than with some generic "here-have-a-Christmas-present" gift. That's not to say that I don't like to get nice things once in a while, but I don't just want something because it's expensive. I want something that is me. And that's why I love my little sibs. They always give gifts that mean something, even if it's just some stuff glued together that they made at cub scouts. Those are the things that mean the most to me, that have memories attached to them, the things that I keep and cherish. Holy wow, that was long. Sorry 'bout that. All my philosiphisyzing on Christmas gifts. Anyways, we had a break in the present-opening to have breakfast, and there was some swing-type Christmas music on, and Mum was in the family room dancing all by her lonesome, so of course I had to go in there and dance with her. It was fun, and funny, 'cuz neither of us really knew what we were doing, as I've only been taught to dance two times, and neither of us knew the guy's part.

After presents an' all that jazz, we cleaned up (and by "we" I mean Da, Mum, and me), people went off to various parts of the house to play with their gifts (I plopped myself down at the little keyboard and enjoyed my beginner's booklets), then we got ready to go to someone-from-our-ward's house. We stayed there for 'bout 5 hours, and it was okay. I read for most of the time, little social butterfly that I am. Came home minus Giselle and Jothan, who are spending the night there, watched "Iron Man" (which wasn't nearly as stupid as I thought it'd be), and now Mum and Aurora are watching "The Dark Knight". The first time I watched that movie, it was cool, the second time, it was cool as long as it was a fighting scene or a scene with the Joker, but this time it was just too slow and I left just before Batman was going to sneak into that Chinese dude's office.

 I'm gonna read and then...I dunno...maybe go to bed. So g'night, my loverlies! Hope you all had a fantasmariffisplendatacularmondocoolheckatightsweenesslikeohmygoshthisisalongword Christmas!

Christmas Eve post #2, in which I still don't really talk about Christmas

The internet can make you smarter. I was on YouTube, searching for a video. I found something that was sort of related, but that wasn't what I was looking for, then that led to another thing, then another thing, and I saw something on the side, and I eventually found what I was looking for, and now I'm on Wikipedia reading about "signing statements", the Free Hugs Campaign, canons, counterpoint, "The Art of Fugue", and chords. And reading on Wikipedia always leads to more reading, with all their links and such. So by the end of tonight, I shall have gained knowledge that I would have otherwise had no clue about because of the internet! Sweet, eh?

Aurora's asleep, Giselle and Jothan are supposed to be in bed, Da's asleep, and Mum's vacuuming. The house is clean, the trees are pretty, and the snow is mounded up outside. It's nice. We watched "Scrooged" and I got all warm-and-fuzzied by Bill Murray's speech at the end. And here I go, looking stuff up again. IMDB this time. Didja know that he's gonna be in "The City of Ember" and will be a voice for "The Fantastic Mr. Fox"? I didn't even know they were making a movie out of the last one. Have you guys read those books? They're good. I love reading. If you're reading the right book, it's a better escape from reality than TV or video games, I found out. I tried playing video games last night for the first time in a LOT of months, and it just wasn't fun anymore, and it didn't shut my brain off like I wanted it to, like they say it does. Liars. But then I read Harry Potter and my mind was totally focused on that. 

Well, Imma go back to my Wikipedia info-gaining. They should come up with a verb for that. "Gaining knowledge by reading Wikipedia." Like "Googling".

Enjoy your Christmas Eves, and your Christmases!!

Christmas Eve post, in which I don't really talk about Christmas

Listening to "Joy to the World", importing Ricky Martin. Can't hate the Ricky Martin. He's so...Spanishlicious. Now try and say that word five times fast. 

I'm still sick, and it's still killing me. It has still been snowing. Earlier today it was really goin' at it, like, almost white-out. Cool to look at, but I don't like living in it.

My hair's all fuzzy. I showered, then sat on the couch to read, then decided I was tired and slept. So when I got up my hair had dried all weird.

TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS!! I'm excited. My throat hurts. My CD's done importing, and now I'm going to go spend time with the family. Adios, and have a great Christmas!!

Outta bed at the crack of noon, blare the music and have a swoon

Oh, I love clever people! They make me laugh.

Last night me mum was watching TV and I was in the room with her, half-watching, half-reading. Mum finally decided to be done at 1 AM, and shut off the TV. We sat there for a minute, watching the snow fall outside. Then I said, "We should go out and play in it. That would be so awesome." Mum said, "Blah blah tired blah too late blah blah blah." I said, "C'mon, let's go be spontaneous! It'll be so much fun! It's all fresh and powdery and new, and we'll be the first ones out there!" And she said, "Blah I'm not as young as you are blah blah blah otherwise I might blah blah. Actually, I did want to shovel the walk out front..." I said, "Sweetness! I'm gonna go get my snow clothes on!" Mum said, "I'm only gonna be out there for five minutes." But I had already run (ran?) downstairs and put on leggings and warm clothes. I don't have snow boots, and mum was using her snow boots, which I usually use, so I had to use my "sexy boots". I put on my snow pants and my coat and went outside. Mum was already out there, shovelling. She said she was gonna shovel the walk...she ended up shovelling the whole driveway...but whatever. I played in the more-than-two-feet-deep snow while she shovelled. It was SO fun. The snow was still falling and the only lights on were the streetlights and a few Christmas lights. Everything was mute and still and so beautiful. It felt like me mum and I were the only ones alive in the world. It was the greatest. I got to be the first one out there. The snow falling in the light of the streetlamp was so beautiful. It was so quiet. I got cold little snowflake kisses, and I was happy. 

After I was thoroughly frozen, I decided that I couldn't wait any longer; I was going to get orange juice (I had been wanting orange juice all day, but it was Sunday. Since it was past 12 AM, though, it wasn't Sunday anymore). So I am still sick, and my heart's pounding from running around in the snow, and I'm freezing, and I'm still wearing snow pants and Sexy Boots, and the roads are unplowed, and it's 2 AM, and I go to the store. There were less than ten people on the road for the whole time I was out there. So freaky, so cool. I had to go slowly, and still slipped a teensy bit. I bought some OJ NOT from concentrate ($6.29 for 128 oz--Ridiculous!!!) and then decided that I also wanted some canned fruit, some applesauce (Mum had bought some applesauce, but it was store-brand, and DISGUSTING. Just as bad as OJ from concentrate), some V8 Splash, and candy. I got out of there, came back home without incident (well, actually, I saw a kitten in the road), and it took less than 30 minutes. 

Haha...take that, curfew!!

I got back, had lots of OJ, read some more, then decided to crash on the couch for no reason at all. I have no idea what time I actually got to sleep, may have been somewhere around 3:30 am. Today I woke up at 12 PM, though, and now I can't believe that it is 9:38 PM. It feels like it should be so much earlier. 

I'm still sick. I think I have the flu, as in, Influenza. Which, according to Wikipedia, can lead to pneumonia. So there's still a chance that I may get pneumonia, then in my delirium, wander outside, trip over a stump in the forest behind our backyard, break my leg, and then a plane will crash on top of me and I'll die. 

I hurt all over, and my right eye (anatomical position) is watering, and my stomach keeps hurting, and I'm weak, and I just don't feel well. But that didn't stop me from doing errands with Mum, Da, and my bros. :D We went to Shoe Carnival, trying to find me some snow boots (they've got crap quality), then we went to Target (it was WAY crowded...stupid last-minute holiday shoppers. Mum and Da bought me a new camera that I don't get 'til Christmas 'cuz I reimbursed them for my plane ticket with my loads of leftover FAFSA moneys, and I found some snow boots), then we went to Walmart and did food and other misc. stuffs shopping. We all got along, and it was more fun than I'd have thought it could be. It would be cool if people could feel as comfortable with everyone as they did with their family, and then people wouldn't have to try and impress others and people wouldn't judge as much and we'd all be happier.

It is fun just being myself, and not caring. Humming as I walk down the aisles, and making comments on things to myself. Do it sometime, it's liberating.

I definitely wasn't well enough to go shopping, because I came home and my stomach was killing me, and I was FREEZING!! I lay down on the couch, under three feather blankets, in my coat, with my hood up. For like, 20 minutes. Then I got up and had fish sticks. I like fish sticks.

And now it's 9:50 PM, and I may actually be tired. I wanna watch a movie. Ferris Bueller's day off? The Fugitive? Did you know that The Fugitive is based on a true story? I learned that in my American Foundations class. Did you know that when you pay attention in class, you learn things? Weird, yes?

I'm off. Peace out, my lightbulbs.

Maybe I should have gotten that flu shot...

I'm sick. I threw up. It's mega-snow outside and still snowing. Church was cancelled. I'm watching Music and the Spoken Word on BYU-TV. My stomach hurts 'cuz I'm sick and 'cuz I'm hungry. Horrible combination. But this music is pretty. And Christmas is in 4 days. :D

So much snow...you got lots in the UP, Sister P? 

So I'm gonna die by barfing up a lung...or being sick for so long that I starve to death...

:P

Is it bad if I use emoticons when I write in my journal?

Called To Serve Him!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE MISSION CALL TAYLER!!! YOU'RE GONNA BE AN AMAZING MISSIONARY!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

Supermassive Black Hole

"You can't go to the mall tonight, the roads are too bad, blah blah blah."

Pah! Parents, what do they know? I'm not gonna die of a car crash, so they don't have to worry.

I'm missing my social life. Cooking and cleaning is all well and good, and so is painting, and playing the piano, but I need to get out. And spend money. And there have been so many photo ops that I've missed because I was an idiot and lost my camera. But it's cool. I get to go tomorrow, and I'm a-lookin' totally cute. 

In other news, I need a job. I have NO idea where to look nor how to look. I have no friends and so no connections, and Aurora said none of her friends have jobs 'cuz they all play sports. Bleh. 

Din' do much today. Christmas is in six days. 

I need a camera. I need to not be stupid. I need a mustache. Actually I don't need a mustache.

I stay up too late. I sleep in too late. And then I wonder where the day goes. Har.

My hands are cold. 

I have nothing to say. I need a life. My life is a camera. I need a camera. I need to go exploring, and when I go exploring I like to take pictures, and to take pictures I need a camera, and I don't have a camera because I'm an idiot and I lost it, and so I need a camera. Hey look! An enthymeme! English done taught me well.

I wanna go watch Twilight. Curfew wouldn't be 'til one if I were at BYU-I. The parentals are holding me back!! Loss of freedom. Loss of freedom. Loss of freedom. Loss of freedom.

I wish I had some cool emo-type friends who would go cause mischief and mayhem with me at Walmart. We could ride little kid's tricycles and get in trouble for it, and have a blast. And take pictures. Oh wait, I can't. I don't have a camera. Idiot. NOT EVEN A FREAKING MONTH OLD!! I'm so STUPID!! And I don't care. 

I like my brain.

And you're the only reason that I remain unfrozen suppose it stands to reason that you would turn on me

I love myself. I wish I could find another person like me. Someone said I'm not that special. I think I am. I think that I really am that unique. Which kinda makes me sad, because it means I'll never be able to have that much fun, and be able to laugh as much as I could if there were another me. But I guess it's cool that there's only one me, because it means that I am unique. 

I was thinking today, in the woods. Why do we need to know everything? Why do we keep searching for answers? Why do we need to understand? Why is not knowing worse than knowing?

Man, my moods are intense. One minute I hate myself, the next, I love myself. But I can't help it. I'm passionate. I feel. I feel my feelings. If that makes sense. 

I had adventures today, I played with my sibs, I was funny, I was random, I was spontaneous. I made food, including that awesome, delicious, caraway-laden Russian Black Bread. I LOVE caraway.

So life is still good. But I lost my camera. And I wish I knew what happened to it. Not knowing is worse than knowing. Why? I dunno. You tell me.

It's 2:31 am. I still stay up too late. I feel like depriving myself of sleep. I feel like painting all night. I get my best paintings when I'm either in a passionate mood, or am deprived. But not freezing to death. And it is freezing here in the basement.

Mum might give me a haircut. I'm stoked.

And I have many more thoughts, but I shan't grace you with their presence. 

Thankfulness isn't only for Thanksgiving

I love college. I love being myself. I love knowing who I am. I love having more confidence and more self-esteem. I love not caring. I love that I have realised that what other people think don't matter. I love that more people have finally started taking notice of me. I love that I have friends. I love that I love biology. I love that I have the opportunity to go to BYU-I. I love that I know what I'm interested in. I'm thankful that I was born into the gospel. I'm thankful that I have such an awesome family. I'm thankful that they raised me well. I'm thankful that I haven't made any horrible mistakes. I'm thankful that I am unique. I'm thankful that I am myself. I'm thankful that I'm not ugly. I'm thankful for the beauty of nature, and I'm thankful that I notice it. I'm thankful that my body works. I'm thankful that I have a house, and clothes, and food, and access to medical care. I'm thankful that Heavenly Father has helped me to notice what He has done for me. I'm thankful that He loves me. I'm thankful for my testimony. I'm thankful that I can feel His love. I'm thankful for the scriptures. I'm SO SO SO SO thankful for the gospel. I'm so thankful that even if no one else cares, that Heavenly Father will care. I'm thankful that He will always be there for me. I'm thankful for the talents He has given me. I'm thankful that I am able to use those talents. I'm thankful for trials, for adversity. I'm thankful that He gives me the strength to get through those trials. I'm thankful for everything that has happened to me, for how my life has gone. For everything that has helped to make me who I am. I'm thankful that I am who I am. I'm thankful that I'm finally able to appreciate myself. I'm thankful for the Plan of Happiness. I'm thankful for the Atonement. I'm thankful that Jesus Christ loves me that much. I'm thankful that I can always turn to Him for help. I'm thankful that He is with me. I'm thankful that I am worthy to have Him with me. I'm thankful that I was born into the gospel. I'm thankful for prayer. I'm thankful that Heavenly Father listens to my prayers. I'm thankful that He answers my prayers, and I know that He does answer my prayers. I know He loves me. I am so glad that He loves me. I'm so glad that Jesus Christ understands how I feel, and how to comfort me. I know that He will comfort me. I know that He cares. I love my life, and even though I have those moments when I'm not happy (see last post), that ultimately, I am that I may have joy. And I know if I keep the commandments and have a positive attitude and rely on the Lord, I will have joy. And I do have joy. I am so glad I can be happy, no matter what happens. I wish everyone had this. I wish everyone knew of the gospel. I wish everyone could be happy. I am happy.

Stupid Stupid Stupid Me

'Member how I said I'm due for something bad to happen?

I lost my camera. My freaking brand new camera. With a brand new memory card. That's around $80 wasted. I had pictures on it, too. I'm an idiot. Not even a month old. I am an idiot.

I'm sure that this is just the beginning.

Lonely lonely that is you Paper paper obsolete How will you reach out to me I thought you'd ask me not to leave Lonely lonely that is me

I love my family I love my family I love my family I love my family and these whole three days of craziness were SO worth it!! 

"Grumble grumble don't wanna leave grumble grumble."

But I knew that as soon as I saw them I'd be so happy I was back. And I AM!! I smiled as soon as I saw them, and cried :D I'm so lame. I knew that would happen. All went well; I didn't die from a plane-crash leg-breaking pneumonia accident. But that would have made a great tragic story. I know something bad's gotta happen soon though; life's just been too great. I'm due for something horrible.

Came home, sister was a poop, but the rest of the family's awesome, and nothing can ruin my good mood. At least for a week. I have so much planned: play in the snow, go shopping, get a job, go places with the sibs, help my mum (whom I love LOVE LOVE LOVE love!! She cares about me SO much!!!!!!!!! Sorry, but she IS the BEST mom in the entire world, and my best friend, and I love her and wish that the whole world would appreciate her. She deserves so much more than my sibs give her. And so when it's not 11:54 pm (EST, though; I've got jet lag) I'm gonna take pictures of everything she's done to make our house beautiful and post it on FB and MAKE people appreciate her and her amazingness.)

I finally got to read Damion's letter and write him (I'm writing a missionary! It's so exciting. "Elder Howard". Connections are awesome. And so is Facebook)

I missed the cats 

Thaden doesn't really remember me

Aurora's too wrapped up in herself. 16-year-olds.

Giselle's cool

Jothan's cool. He showed me his tuba-playing, and let me try. It's awesome! Hot Cross Buns all the way!! Haha!!

On my second flight, I just sat there and thought. I had a MAJOR epiphany. I realised things about myself that I'd never even considered before. It was pure logic. Cold and unfeeling. It helped me to think clearly. But logic untempered with emotion can be dangerous. And it's not good to act on ideas that spring from pure logic. At least, not for me. But that shot of ice is good once in a while. It usually comes when I don't want it, but when I am in need of it. Anyways, I'm just gonna see what happens. 

Wow. Maybe I do need sleep. My mood just switched from good to bad. What the heck. I thought the logic helped. I wish emotions could be shot, stabbed, buried, and left to rot. I really do not need them. I guess depressing music don't help much either. Harrumph. I feel like reading. Shall, then. I love my family. I can't wait 'til Christmas. I haven't looked forward to Christmas for a while. 

I hope tomorrow's good! I love my mom! I love the cats! I am so stoked to be home! My arm's falling asleep! I finally changed my clothes that I'd been wearing since Friday! Okay. My hand is sparking.

I'm talking to a friend on FB. "E", for those who read my blog. She's so amazing. She makes me feel like I'm the greatest person in the world. But she's the one who's the greatest. I love making her happy. 

My mom's awesome. I love her, and have missed her. She really is my best friend.

Done.

Last-Day Madness

Bed at two, up at 8. Homework, homework, homework. Shower. Homework--I FINISHED MY 3,000 WORD ESSAY!!!!!!!!!! And I KNOW I could NOT have done it without Heavenly Father's help. Then packing for storage, then picture with the roomies (yeah, okay, they aren't so bad, I'm just a butthead) then to the testing center-- got a 68% on my math test...whooo. Then sell back books. I was only able to sell one of three books back. Stupid. Then to Benson building for next class, where the vending machine eats my dollar, so I have a fun-size Butterfinger instead. Go to class, take test (takes about five minutes, and I think I only missed two. *happy!*) Then home to eat and chill, because I have more than an hour. Now I've got about 20 minutes, then it's off to take my final test!!!! Then I'm DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE!!!!!! Packing will come later; I'm chilling after my last class. Fo sho!

But tomorrow....the transportation madness begins.... X(

Can't it just be over now?!

Only two more days...

So grouchy...could at least ask me nicely. You never do it, but you have a problem when others do it. Like, it's okay for you, but not for others, because it inconveniences you, and we just can't have that, can we? Whatever. I know that your being nice to me is just a mask. I know that you dislike me. But that's your problem. You could do me the favor of being nice, though, since I do it for you. If only you knew what I really thought of you...but I'm either too weak or too nice to say it. So just keep being a butt. I'll endure for two more days. Then I'm definitely blocking you on facebook. Jerk.

Pizza in the Sky

Hee hee...less-than-three. Much more fun for you and me. Can't you see? Now go pee. On a tree. Or an electric fence, but that may not be good. :D Oh, I make myself laugh sometimes.

Last week: finals and homework and stress and death. Oh yeah. 

A more in depth look at my life

Le weekend: Friday, I did homework, I ate, I did more homework, I cleaned. Stayed up 'til 'bout 6:45 am, went to sleep on the couch, got up at 8:55 am. Woot for White Glove. Did more homework, then Nice Roomie's guy friend from work came over to have clam chowder. Guy-Crazy Roomie's mood improved VERY noticeably, as it does whenever any guy is coming over. She desperately needs a boyfriend, so she'll have a life and stop being a butt to me. I did more homework, then scootered to Braulim's (where the butt-guy in the truck "whoo"d at me), then to maurices, but all their stuff is ugly, then back home, and had some corn, and read a bit, then one of the girls I had that lunch party with came over (E) and I straightened her hair. Then I birthday-spammed Tayler (see last post) (heh heh) and then spent until 3:30 getting stuff ready. Then I showered, then painted my nails, then went to bed. E texted me at 6:10, we went over to T's, and were obnoxious. It was FREEZING. Then she dropped me off at the Hinckley, I played piano for 'bout an hour, then sat in a chair and watched everything get brighter. It was pretty. I half-fell asleep. But it's pretty hard when you're all squinched up in a tiny chair, with a short-ish dress. I got in some interesting positions :P

Went to RS, went to SS, SM, then went home and changed. Went with my next-door neighbor to T's apt, and waited for like, an hour. Then we got in the car and LEFT REXBURG!!!!! OH MY GOSH it was so nice to escape. Our original plan was to go to some caves and explore, but we got kinda lost...like, four hours lost....haha!! But it was a blast. Then we came back and chilled, I made pamcakes...really crappy pamcakes....but whatever. I washed some dishes, chilled some more, then came home and planned on doing homework. But oh my gosh, when I got into my bed with all my stuff, I just lay my head down, and I crashed. Like, utterly and completely. And this was around 8pm. You know that when I go to bed that early, I'm dead. I was WAY dead. And Mon. morning I had an appt. for a thing at 8:30. Woke up at 8:37, looked outside, saw snow, said HOLY CRAP. My thing for the appt wasn't even done, so I just said whatever and got up. Did some more homework, had some lunch, did homework again, took a quick shower, went to class, came home, went VTing, came home, had some dinner, tried to take a break but homework was on my mind, so I just kinda lay there on the couch. Had a weak wanna-be FHE, tried to do homework, couldn't. So I grabbed my scooter, flew down the hill, went to the Snow, played piano for 'bout 2 hours, came home, grabbed my stuff, and came to the lounge. And now I'm chillin', still stressed about homework (and will be 'til this week is up). I don't even have that much! It's stupid. BUT!!!!!!!!!! My every-day 4:30-5:30 class was cancelled for Tues-Thurs, and I am stoked. But now that I don't have that class anymore, I'm sad. I really liked the teacher, and the discussions, and the people in there. It's like that song. "You don't know what you got till it's gone." And it's so true. I'm just trying to numb myself, not even think about it, because if I did, I'd be so sad. I don't wanna leave this place, my friends, and even some of my classes. These were some of the best months of my life. And now there's only four days left. And they've loaded us with homework. So rude.

Ciao!

Happy Birthday!!!

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY, TAYLER CHRISTENSEN!!!!!!!! I hope they call you on a mission!! :D

Midnight Blue is a beautiful colour...but not when it's a bruise

People in trucks who yell stuff at innocent little girls on scooters aren't nice. At all.

"Whoo!!.............Did you see that girl?"

Stupid college students. What's so weird about riding a scooter?

People who pound on the wall when innocent little girls are trying to play piano aren't nice either. In fact, according to my FB, "Chloe thinks that the people who pounded on the wall while she played piano should be beaten to a bloody pulp". And that's the way to take care of jerks like that. Would it have been so hard to come and ask me to stop? 

It's crunch-time, guys. 5 days left in the semester. Ask me if I've even got a thesis statement for my freaking paper. Go on, ask me. *rips out hair in stress*

I CANNAE DO ENGLISH!!! CANNAE CANNAE CANNAE!!! WHY does there have to be a word limit?! I couldn't even meet the 1,500 word limit. Maybe I'll drop out. Be a bum at home. 

This week's gonna kill me. It really will.

But White Glove checks are over! 91%!! And I only missed one thing! Which is lame, because I did it..I guess they have to count off for something or they don't feel satisfied. And I spent more than 10 flipping hours cleaning that bathroom. Shoot me.

Getting only 2 hours of sleep can really kill a girl. Early bedtime for me, mates (relatively, claro que si). Gonna snuggle up in me blankets with Harry Potter and Co. and get carried away in a magical world of witchcraft and wizardry.

Hehe...my roomie bought mistletoe....I'm sure Spoiled One will try to take advantage of that...with any guy she meets....our apartment will now officially be known as the "do NOT go in there" dorm. Ah well. One week left.

The sunset was beautiful again. But the picture up there isn't from tonight. But like I said, the posts with pictures are always better.

<3 

The Jerk Strikes Again!

I really really dislike roommates sometimes. It's not nice to make people feel unimportant, even inadvertently. But this is on purpose. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she is only half-aware of what she's doing. Something tells me, though, that she knows completely what she's doing. It's not my fault. But OF COURSE she can't blame herself, because that would mean she'd actually have to face reality. And apparently, that's just too hard.

Awake and Unafraid, Asleep or Dead

I. Cannot. Sleep. 

Tried to go to bed around 2. Took me at least an hour to fall asleep. Then I woke up, I'm guessing near the end of 4, all sweaty and hot, and just lie there and tried to go back to sleep. But it didn't work. My mind won't let me sleep. And now it's 6am, and I'm doing homework. This was a rare time when I actually wanted to sleep. I am exhausted.

Insomniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........................................................

Buttmuffins, buttbeans, and buttchins

Our dorms have "White Glove" Saturday morning, which is where they make sure your apartment is not just clean, but SPOTLESS, before checkout. I decided to get started today so I don't have to waste my Friday night cleaning to death. I'm cleaning the bathroom, which isn't just sweeping the floor and washing the mirrors, but scrubbing out the grime from between each tile, scouring the toilet with a pumice stone, and licking the floors clean. Okay, you don't really have to lick the floors. But it is a lot of cleaning. So I think I started around 12, and cleaned until 2:40. And...I'm crazy.....but I enjoyed it. Once I get into cleaning, I like it. 

I'm in class right now. My teacher's hilarious. But I feel like the stupidest one in there. I think I'm the only one who isn't good at this stuff. I like the class anyway. But the work kills me.

My food supply is low. I thought I bought enough last time I went to supply meself for these last two weeks. Apparently not. I've got Marshmallow Mateys (malt-o-meal rules!) but no more soymilk; I've got a can of tuna; some bread; some PB; some preserves; a box of stuffing...that's about it. So I've been eating this grainy wanna-be fudge that my roomie made. Heh heh....pampered Cali girl can't cook. But it tastes good. Then again, so does anything made of sugar, butter, cocoa powder, and milk. Props to her for trying to make candy, though; that's like, the hardest thing to do. (See, I can be kind and positive if I want to be...)

I feel pretty today. <3

Musings

Scootering is fun!! Bought one on Black Friday, and I used it last night after Music Outlet and scootered around town for 30 mins, then today I rode it uphill to class (slowly) and then DOWNHILL (!!) to my dorm. I think people laughed at me, but I don't care. It was way fun times. 

I can't believe school's almost over. I'm glad, because I want to see my family and use my new-found confidence and take advantage of the low gas prices, and I won't have to do homework or classes, and lots of my foundations (GE's) classes are over with, but I'm really going to miss BYU-I and being independent and buying my own food and, claro que si, my friends. Even being away for the one-week Thanksgiving break made me feel...I dunno....alone? Sad? Something. Four months is going to kill me. Even if I get a job and stay busy, BYU-I will always be on my mind, and so will all the friends I've left behind, and will probably not see again, except in passing. I hope my next semester will be as amazing as this one. Man, I'm gonna miss this place. I wish I only had to go home for a couple of weeks. That'd be enough for me.

But anyways. Life is good, overall.

Peace.

For The Peterson

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER PETERSON!! I love you, and I hope you have an amazing 21st birthday!!

Free Cookies

Who gave blood? I gave blood!! Yeah. That's right. Jealous? I would be too. But I'm not, because I gave blood! 

Everything Everything Will Be Alright

Happy December 1st!!


12pm- Blood giving time!! Okay, to tell the truth, I'm not 110 lbs, thought I was, but I'm not. Close enough though. I'm not gonna die, I've had water and "a good meal", as they suggest. I asked my mum once, "Why would people give blood when they're underweight? It's unhealthy." The answer: Because they're crazy. Because I'm crazy. Because I like to give blood. You know, I'll bet my younger self would hate my older self.

Sunsets in Rexburg are beautiful.

The mountains are beautiful.

Beautiful is not descriptive enough. Neither is happy. The english language is inadequate.

I made canned bread again. But didn't eat the whole can. Just half :D

Blah blah blah. 11:37.

It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on

Ooooooooooookay. I'm boring. And tired. I was up 'til 3am uploading pics onto FB, like a nerd, and got up at 6:30am. Whatever.

Water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water water


Done now. Go away.

Deep Thoughts, I suppose

Oh my.


Do you know what it's like to not have friends? At all? To be completely alone, no one to talk to, no one to be with? That's what it was in MI. Complete isolation. And I do mean complete. You really have no idea. But I am not getting into that.

But then, coming to college, and finally having lots of friends, and having people care about me, and having them acknowledge the things I do, everyone making me feel special, and loved, and liking me for me...it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. 

I am so glad, though, for MI, because without those experiences, I wouldn't be able to appreciate these things as much as I do. I really am so grateful for trials. Unfortunately, it's not until after the trial is over that I recognise what a blessing it was. I really need to work on my attitude. I don't like that I'm ungrateful for those things that are good for me. Stupid natural man.



Be thankful for everything you have, good and bad. A lesson I still must learn.




And please, please, PLEASE appreciate nature!! Too often its beauty is wasted. Take 20 minutes, go outside, and just look. Look. Notice the small things. Notice everything together. Acknowledge it. Don't live life without enjoying nature every day. Please. It is so beautiful.

Chloe

Another novel for your reading pleasure: THE SEQUEL!!

Mmm. Can you hear the Beethoven? I can.

Started reading Les Miserables UNABRIDGED (yeah man) today.  M. Hugo is long-winded and opinionated, but also a good writer. 63 pages into it and the main story hasn't even started. I'm enjoying it.

Made stuffing, yams, and BREAD today. Recipe time? Recipe time.

Amish White Bread

From allrecipes.com

2 cups warm water (110 degrees F)

2/3 cup white sugar

1 1/2 Tablespoons yeast

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1/4 cup vegetable oil

6 cups bread flour

In a large bowl, dissolve the sugar in warm water, then mix in yeast. Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam. 

Mix salt and oil into the yeast mixture. Mix in flour one cup at a time. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Place in a well-oiled (cooking-sprayed) bowl, and turn dough to coat (just spray it with cooking spray). Cover with plastic wrap. Put in a warm place, and let rise until doubled, about an hour. 

Punch down dough. Knead for a few minutes, and divide in half. Shape into loaves, and place into two oiled-and-floured 9x5" baking pans. Put in warm place, and let rise for 30 mins or until dough is 1 inch above the sides. 

Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 mins. 

I have a previous post with a bread recipe, and I added in a whole bunch of tips and stuff, but I say you just have to try it, and learn for yourself. If I added in all my tips, tricks, and things I've learned, it would be four times as long, and wouldn't make much sense. So go ahead and just try this! If nothing else, it will taste good. 

Other stuff:

I got.......TEXTING!!!!!!!!! I have completely conformed, given in, gone mainstream. But who cares? It is fun!!! I can bug anyone at any time now (unlimited, man!)!! And my dad sent me videos and photos from home. I've watched them a lot. I was reminded of one of Joseph Smith's letters to Emma, where he says something like, "I've read your letter over and over. It was a sweet morsel to me." If you want to know what he actually said, look in lesson...21 (?) of the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith book. It's about families or something. Comes right before the lesson about the millennium or different kingdoms or whatever. Those videos and pics were such small morsels, but oh so sweet. Two weeks!! I can't wait to help my mom, and see the cats, and drive places. I've become SO much more independent in college, and so I'll finally be able to go to stores by myself and not be scared. And since gas is cheap now, I can do it!! I'm gonna explore! I'm gonna enjoy life! Man, I'm stoked. But I'll miss BYU-I, and the spirit there. 

I don't know if the world's decided to conspire against me, but recent devotionals, church lessons, and talks have made me want to have kids. Before college, I was SO against having kids. I thought my life would be over. I still don't know if I'll have much of a life after kids. But this one devotional especially made me so excited. No me recuerdo who the speaker was. It was  a GREAT talk though, all about how being a mother, having families, etc. is the main reason why we're here; how raising kids is REALLY important; how it's so rewarding. It's what everyone says, so it must be true. And so I'm looking forward to it (after I graduate, claro que si). This has also made me want to prepare. If I'm gonna be a good mom, I have so much I need to work on. Selflessness, patience, caring, understanding, tolerance, confidence, self-esteem. So thank goodness I have at least four years to prepare. I definitely need it. And I'm planning on starting in my immediate family. Helping mom, working on getting along with the sibs, helping with Thaden. Ooh, I love this song...concerto...whatever. Tchaikovsky. 

So college is a time for preparation. I'll do it. I'm able. I'm willing. I've got nothing better to do, so why not work on eternal salvation? :D

Well, life is fun. Life is good. Life is awesome. I love life. I love lamp. And that's all there is to it. 

Man, I don't know why, but I LOVE PIANO!! And I cannot say it enough. Bear with me. Or maybe bare with me. We have a right to it. You know, second amendment and all that.

I wish it were tomorrow. I want to feast. I didn't eat much today, and didn't have dinner, and I'm not eating tomorrow until dinner. It's gonna be great! Food tastes the best when you're starving. 

Meh. I think the earlier I go to bed, the later I get up and the more tired I am. Seriously. I went to bed around 1am the first night I was here, and got up at 8 and was all fine and dandy. Then I went to bed around 12, got up at 8. Then 11-ish, got up at 10. Then last night I went to bed around 10 (!!) (yeah, I know!!) and got up at 9, but definitely could have slept in more. Maybe my body's been storing up all the times when I've not slept, and is cashing in. Well, I don't care. I'm staying up tonight.

Me mum's been introduced to the Twilight series...by me...tee hee. I called her Monday night after I saw the movie.

"Hey Beautiful!!"

"Liar"

"No I'm not. Go run down to my room RIGHT NOW, grab Twilight, and start reading it. Then give it to Giselle and let her read it. Then go see the movie with her and Aurora. Seriously."

"I can't right now (blah blah blah and other mom excuses)"

"Then go have Giselle go get it. I'm not getting off the phone with you until you have it in your hands and have read the first chapter."

Giselle gets the book, I talk to Giselle while mom reads. I give Giselle specific instructions to make sure mom reads it and does nothing else, and after mom's done, to read it herself. In school, if necessary. Then I tell her I'm calling back every hour until it's read. Mum said she'd only read the first chapter right now, then read the rest later. Ha ha ha. For those who've read the book, you know you can't put it down, and if you absolutely have to, you burn with curiosity and a NEED to read until you get back to it. And my mum's especially bad at this. We both are, actually. When a book is good, then kids, food, sleep are all put on hold while we read.

I called back about an hour later. Mom didn't answer.

"Is mom reading?"

"Yes."

"Good. Where is she?"

"I dunno."

"Okay. Make sure she keeps reading!!"

I called back another hour later. Mom answered. She was putting Thaden to sleep or something, so she couldn't talk. Then I told her ha ha, of course she couldn't just read the first chapter, and that I'd call at one to make sure she was still reading.

"No, I need to go to bed, Chloe. I really do. I'm sick" etc, etc

Around 12am mum calls me. Tee hee!!

"Jerk"

"Told you it was addictive!!"

"Yeah, but I really need to go to bed."

"No you don't, you need to read."

"No, I need to go to bed."

"No, you need to read. I'm calling at one to see where you are."

"No, really, don't. I need to sleep."

I didn't call back, but found out today that she read until 4am. My dad was on call, so he wasn't there to tell her to go to bed. She said she would have read until the sun came up, but Thaden cried, so she had to take care of him. Tuesday, she was on the second book, and today, she started the third book. I think she said she has about 200 pages left. Heck yeah, that's me mum!!! I love her!! I am a jerk, though, because I knew she'd stay up reading it. But they're awesome books. They need to be read. Aurora went and saw the movie today. Said she didn't like it that much. Well, she can go suck eggs with Jane Austen. Speaking of eggs, devilled eggs are delicious, and speaking of devilled eggs, we're having them tomorrow!! I'm excited. Bring on the cholesterol!! Did you know there's about 83% of your daily cholesterol allowance in one egg? And about 75 calories. Fun fact!!

I can't stop picking my fingers, and they're all bloody. Stupid me.

My right foot offendeth me with its ugliness. I should cut it off.  :D 

It would be so weird that if right now, something crashed through the window and killed me. 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. urbandictionary.com

bakeorbreak.com

bakerella.blogspot.com

cookiemadness.net

thepioneerwoman.com/cooking

cakespy.com

All awesome sites. If nothing else, go to thepioneerwoman.com/cooking. I love that site, and not just for the cooking. That woman seems awesome.

Raspberry. Gnat. Gnome. Pneumonia. Diarrhea. Gonorrhea. Weird. 

FLATULATE!!!

HORROR. I'm bored. I wish it were tomorrow.

Does anyone know 1337?

And out of curiosity, how many people actually read my blog? Leave me a comment. 

For lack of anything better to do

I have "Claire De Lune" on repeat

I have to read 7 articles for school. I don't want to. SO I'm coloring in my anatomy coloring book again. I'm learning about the anterior regions of the body. Head- frontal, buccal, mandibular, orbital, nasal, oral. Neck- anterior cervical, lateral cervical, supraclavicular (fun word). Thorax- pectoral. Abdominopelvic- inguinal, pelvic, pubic, groin, pudenal, perineal. Upper Limb- something, axillary, brachial, antecubital, antebrachial, carpal, palmar, digital. Lower Limb- coxal, femoral, something, something, something, tarsal, something, digital. Haven't memorised them all the way. Fun, though.

I had a really weird dream last night. Actually, all my dreams are really weird.

I hate writing essays when I'm not passionate about it.

I hate being forced to be creative.

I love my watch.

I love watermelon. That has nothing to do with anything.

I have started every paragraph with the word "I". So self-centered, and on my own blog, too! You know what's lame, though? I actually feel bad for talking about myself so much, even though it is my blog. It's stupid. I'm stupid. 

And now, a question: is it worse to be sick, or to feel and be fat?

Twilight and Anatomy

 

 

You guys should know me well enough to know that I don’t just “go along” with things. I have my own opinions. So when I say something’s good, I mean it. And when I rave about things, that’s only because it’s REALLY good. And I never ever rave about things. And I never obsess about things, like a little tween. Ever. I’m not lame like that.

So with that said, let me just get into it: EVERY ABLE PERSON MUST GO SEE TWILIGHT!!! For those of you lame enough to not have read it yet (and you know who you are) GO READ IT!! Seriously, it’s not just one of those follow-the-crowd things. It’s like, the BEST romance novel in the world. (That’s right. Jane Austen can suck eggs)

Thoughts:

Bella. Bella was an idiot. I hated the girl they chose for her. She needed to be softer. She was too skinny. (They made Rosalie a bit chunky, which made me really happy). And she needed to wear not-so-tight clothes. She needed to just be more average. And she had one of those faces that looked like she was always angry or glaring or something. Her mouth was stiff.

Edward is the perfect little emo in this movie. It made me WANT him. Like, seriously. I thought he was freaking UGLY before I saw the movie, but he totally grew on me, as did the other characters. I realised that he was hot in the “supermodel” way, not in the typical “omg he’s hot” way. He played Edward PERFECTLY. And the part where he was playing the piano….!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the part where he was lamenting over his “monster-ness” to Bella…I was like, “Come to reality and we can hate ourselves together!!” AH! He is so emo!! And so hot!! Yeah, yeah: “It’s just a book, you idiot. Stop acting like it’s real.” I know. I know I know I know. I was saying this too. And I’m not acting like it’s real. But he’s so perfect, and this movie’s so perfect. Life just does not happen like that, and that’s how I know it’s a movie. But oh man, if life DID happen like that, and Edward WERE real, he’d be MINE, and he’d play piano for me, and let me stand on his feet while dancing, and compliment me, and make me love myself, and would protect me, and smile his SO HOT crooked smile at me (which the actor-dude did well also), and would be romantic, and would be emo at me, and would listen to classical music and be able to name the song (this part was so hot….listening to classical music). I’m gonna have to go see that movie at least ten more times before I’m satisfied.

I loved the music, loved the cast (minus bella; didn’t really like Charlie either, but he was okay), loved the feeling, loved the interpretation of it.

And that would be the best way to describe the movie: it’s an interpretation of the book. It’s not the same, and they add in some things, but it’s okay. Just go to it, expecting it to be bad, like I did, and you should at least like it, or appreciate it, or something.

 

In other news, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit. LOVED it!! Hearing about anatomy, seeing photos, is all cool, but seeing it like this is just…!!!!!!! I really want to dissect a real person now. And a fetus. I really want to dissect a fetus. I’ve dissected two hearts, and a cat (which was reeeeaaalllyy cool!! I’ve got photos at home, even!), but dissecting a person would be so awesome. Hooray for opportunities at college!!!

 

I’m having piano withdrawals. Poor me.

Life or Lifelike Thought

I'm at my grandparents' house. They went to bed around 8pm. Ugh.

They have no internet connection. So I searched for one outside the house. The only ones I could find had only one bar. Terrible connection, dreadfully slow. But it's unsecured (I don't need a password) and it works, and that's all that matters. 'Course, no one's on Facebook to talk to, but that's okay. At least I feel connected to the outside world. 

If things work out, I get to go see this exhibit called Body Worlds 3. I am STOKED!! I remember my anat & phys teacher talking about this exhibit; she said it was awesome, and I wanted to go. And now I get to!! http://theleonardo.org/bodyworlds/ <---- For those who've not heard of it

I have books. Books books books. And an anatomy coloring book. I really wish I had brought my medical terminology flash cards. I feel like studying them. 

Kat, wanna hear something funny/sad? The performance I went to on Friday was the same as the one on Thursday. I thought they'd play different stuff, but nooo. I could be chillin' with you right now. Oh well. "Come What May, and Love It." That's the talk, right? Learn to laugh. It is funny, when you think about it. But also sad. *shrug* Life happens.

I'm under a heated blanket. Heck yeah.

When the 'Mates Are Away, the Chloe Will Play

What to do when you're alone in the dorm, bored of packing, and without friends?

Search for flair on Facebook? Watch movies on YouTube? Read a book?

....Or hold a personal DANCE PARTAY?!?!?!

Yes sir, that's right. Moved all the couches out of the way, blared some music, and stripped down to my tank top. Danced around spasmodically, smoothly, stupidly. Let loose, enjoyed myself. HO-LEE COW it's fun! I would NEVER do this around anyone, but alone, it's a gas! The night is mine, as is the dorm, and I'm taking full advantage of it by doing something I never have the chance to do. Oh my goodness. If you've never just danced around in your house with the music up high and the blinds all closed and no one around, you've not lived. Go do it now. Holy cow. I've been missing out.

Medical terminology flash cards rule!

HAPPY!!!

OH MY GOODNESS!! Would you like to hear about my day? No? Then why are you reading this?

A list of all the awesomeness of the day:

*Had toast with awesome spreadable butter and apricot preserves (preserves are the way to go!!)- See previous post for rant on food. Don't judge me!!! I know I'm a fattie.

*Went to math class and it was easy

*Wrote in a brand new notebook- This is always exciting! 

*Bought tons of sweet stuff from the University Bookstore: 

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo- Unabridged!! 1000+ pages long! I'm stoked. I've only read the abridged version.

The Anatomy Coloring Book- I got too sick of not having a Bio class that I caved in and bought this

Medical Terminology flash cards- Another "I want a Bio class" thing. Also, I had a medical terminology class in 11th grade, and knew tons of prefixes, suffixes, and roots and stuff, but I've forgotten a lot of it, and that annoys me, so I bought these to practise with! I've already memorised 25!!

A really cool pen that looks like a syringe

Gospel Principles- My Book of Mormon teacher suggested this, so I bought it

*Had stuffing for lunch- I LOVE stuffing!! See previous post for rant on food. 

*Did science homework and put some effort into it

*Got Reese's Cups from the vending machine- See previous post for rant on food. 

*Practised piano for an hour

*Went to science class and surfed the net the entire time

*Studied repentance in the scriptures- It's kinda essential to my salvation, and I don't think I understand it or know how to do it, so I'm finding out how to do it right. Then I got way tired and just sat back in the chair and fell half-asleep. Then I got me a Butterfinger. See previous post for rant on food. Still a fattie.

*Went to BIO 199 and surfed the net the whole time- That class is also helping me to realise that I don't want to have a job, I want to be a stay-at-home mom

*Decided to skip my English class- I came home and baked instead!! Whoo!!

*Baked Pumpkin Gingerbread and Ginger Cookies- Thank you allrecipes.com! Delicioso!

*Had stuffing for dinner- I LOVE stuffing!! See previous post for rant on food. 

*Ate a buttload of the cookie dough- See previous post for rant on food. And I'm a fattie.

*Went to a Thanksgiving potluck "feast"- Wasn't really. Had a few mini-Reese's cups and some ham. See previous post for rant on food. 

*Went to see the BYU-I Symphony Orchestra featuring Jenny Oaks Baker- SOO FREAKING COOL!!!! It made me happy!!

*Played piano for two hours- After the performance ended at 9, I played hymns, and practised a bit with my left hand, straight from the hymn book. I told myself I'd leave at 10:45. I didn't get out of there 'til almost 11:30. I just could NOT leave!! I even left the room once, with all my stuff, then used the bathroom, then decided I'd walk past the rooms again to listen, and went back in and played some more. I LOVE!!!! the piano!!!!!!!!!!! I also practised singing the alto on some songs. And my new favorite song is "Come, Ye Children of the Lord" (#58). It's so fun to play, and all the parts are beautiful and fun to sing. I felt a bit self-conscious singing at first, but then I just didn't care, and enjoyed myself. And I was pounding on the piano sometimes. And talking to myself. But it was FUN!!! And there was no one in the rooms around me, so it was okay. And then on my way out I stopped to listen to someone playing the piano. When I finally did leave, I opened the door and was hit by a blast of wind. It was EXHILARATING!!! I just smiled so big, and sang to myself. I was blown around all the way home, and I was just bursting with something so far past happiness, but there are no words to describe it. I felt like running, jumping, flying, singing 'til my lungs burst, hugging someone or something, shouting, exploding, all at the same time. I still feel like singing 'til my lungs burst. I just wish I were better at singing so I don't have to worry about hurting people's ears.

I just feel...happy! I can't describe it. I wish I didn't have curfew so I could go let loose outside. Run around in the wind, or something. I want everyone in the world to disappear, and I want to go outside and just be myself, and let life happen for right now. I am happy. I am more than happy. I can't even describe it. I feel happy. I am happy!!! And I'm choosing it. I am choosing to be happy! It's my choice. I choose to be happy! I love life! I love people! I love everything!!!! Everyone should get to be this happy at least once in their life. It's just pure...something! I can't describe it!!!!!! Someone could punch me in the face right now and I'd still love them. They could insult me, degrade me, spit on me. I AM HAPPY!!!!!! I really want to go out right now and tell everyone!! I want to give everyone a hug and just pass it on! I wish I could express this. 

Well, my loyal blog followers, I could keep typing about this all night, but I won't bore your brains anymore. I'll go read scriptures instead, and make myself more happy!! Thanks for taking an interest in my life, and for commenting! It's greatly appreciated, and lets me know I'm not alone!! Love you all!!!

Chloe "George" Lammi

Another novel for your reading pleasure

EDIT: I was thinking that it may not be such a good idea to put names...Google and all that. So I edited it to be initials. Of course, the roomies may still see this, but whatever. I've only got to deal with them for two more weeks. And I need SOME outlet.

Eating corn again...

I went to the Snow and did homework, then piano for at least two hours. May have been more. I also went earlier today for about an hour. Fun fun fun! For some hymns, I can actually just play it straight from the book. It is SO cool! I didn't think I'd ever be able to do that. But I guess practising for hours each day will do that to ya. :P

Sometime before noon I took out trash (stinky) and when I came back I saw a couple of my friends, named E and C. We chatted a bit, not really meaning to hang out for long. But then E sat in the grass (it was a nice day today) and so us other two did, and we talked some more. Then we were joined by another girl who is my neighbor (but I don't know her). Eventually we went up to E's apartment and ate leftover gumbo and jambalaya (she's from Louisiana) and I made some bread from a can. I've never done this before; just talking to people and ending up hanging out for a while. It was fun and semi-spontaneous. And I really like C; I think we have a lot in common. She's a really nice girl, one of those who's always smiley and happy. Same with E. She makes me feel so good about myself. She's always nice and happy and friendly with everyone and can make a conversation out of anything. And C said I was awesome for teaching myself to play piano. That made me happy, but as always, I tried to brush off the compliment. Stupid.

Did you know that classes are actually interesting when you pay attention? Did you know you can actually learn?! It's amazing!! 

I really really really want a human bio class. I love that stuff. Regular biology's interesting too, but the most awesome stuff is human biology. Hence why I'm majoring in human bio. Go figure.

Yesterday I finally went food shopping. WHAT?!? Yeah, I know, but I only had two bags of fro'corn left. And lots of stuff for baking. So I got tuna and beans and cereal (ooh, cereal!!) and soymilk and bread and this awesome spreadable butter stuff and apricot preserves and canned peaches and apples and pomegranates and pomegranate juice ($4.99 for a small bottle- lame!) and canned bread and SPAGHETTIOS!! Yeah man.

11:10pm...I'm not gonna miss it this time!!!

Watching....

Oh!

Make a wish!!

...........

...........

........

Done!!

I've been trying to snag a wish for a while now, and I keep forgetting. I missed it on November 11!!! It made me so mad!! So I was just defiant and wished at 11:12pm. But it dinna work.

Okay, story: A girl, named R, had a game-night party thing one night. There was this guy there, named M, who said his cat had a facebook, and I thought that was hilarious, so I added his cat. Then he added me, and we talked on facebook a bunch. Then one night I needed a vent, and Mwas the only person I felt like telling stuff to, and the only person who'd be impartial and wouldn't freak out, so I told him, like, all of my secrets. And he told me his. And so we're friends, able to talk about anything and say anything, and it's awesome. But I had yet to actually hang out with him, so I was supposed to go over and play video games last Saturday (they have super mario brothers-who WOULDN'T want to play that?!), but he had homework. So I Facebooked him before I went to the store, and he came with me. So Facebook can be good sometimes! I'd never do the "I have no life" thing and become friends with some random person from halfway across the world, so it's cool. And then I had nothing else to do, so I went to his apartment and kinda played VGs, but I suck (I like to play, but I do suck) so I watched him and his roomie play, which is actually fun for me. And it's hilarious to watch guys when they play VGs. They get all focused and into it. 

Before I went to the grocery store, one of my roomies (I'm just gonna say initals now; it gets too confusing) K (she's the not-wash-dishes one) and I took my punkin experiment (they actually turned out okay--really dense though, not very flavorful, but not horrible. I ended up making cream cheese frosting and putting that on them, which really made 'em awesome) to my FHE bros apartment. When K found out that the one that she used to like wasn't home, though, she wanted to leave right away. Pa-the-tic. On the way home she was complaining at me, because she wanted to go see this OTHER guy that she "likes", but I needed to go to the grocery store (and it was dark) and so I wouldn't go with her, and of course she couldn't go alone, because then it actually would look like she's stalking guys. Which she is. But that's another thing. And on the way home I mentioned something about M and then all of a sudden she was saying how I was a "guy magnet" and how I'd already been on more dates than she (Uh, three? And the first two don't count-Craigless was an idiot. She's been on a date, so we're even) and how I had tons of guy friends (Yup. Two is a lot) and saying she was jealous and stuff. First: Stop stalking guys- it kinda freaks 'em out. Second: Get a better personality. You're annoying and fake around guys. Third: Get a new hobby. Focus on school or something. You're a FRESHMAN, for potato's sake. Every time I'm around her, she makes me feel like crap about something. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but it's way lame. Passive-aggressive fatwad.

Me mum said that gas is $1.80-ish in Michigan right now. WTF?! When I left, it was around $4.00!! It hasn't been below $2 in FOREVER!! 

You know what? You're not supposed to be healthy or dieting on Thanksgiving. The dishes are not supposed to be low-fat, low-sugar, low-cholesterol. You're supposed to enjoy yourself and eat until you've filled up your intestines, your stomach, and your esophagus. You're supposed to gain a pound or two. But this DOES NOT MATTER!! Life is too short to worry too much about fatness or thinness. Our thin culture really sucks, and I wish it didn't matter so much. I wish people cared more about personality than weight. I wish the girls around the dorms wouldn't talk about calories or fat or losing weight or clothes size or "healthy food" or exercise (unless it's for fun-but seriously, who the heck exercised for fun?). It just makes me feel like crap, and makes it so I can't enjoy my food. I want to be able to eat twenty thousand cookies if I feel like it, and not have to worry about whether people will still like me. I don't want my worth to be based on the size of my jeans. I don't want to have to stay away from the "bad foods" because "they're bad for you". And the doctors aren't helping either. Yes, we know being morbidly obese is bad. But being a bit overweight is okay. It's good to enjoy food, enjoy life. It's good to snarf everything in sight sometimes. It's alright to not worry about calories or eating healthy. No, it's not good to just eat candy. But it's okay to eat some every day instead of once a week. I hate fashion models, who make us all feel like ugly, worthless fatsos. I hate society telling us we need to be thin to be liked, to be pretty, to be popular, to be perfect. I hate that there's a "right size", and a "right BMI". I hate that it matters so much. 

I want to go play the piano now. But I cannae. 

I want to go bake something. But I cannae.

I want something different to happen.

I want something exciting to happen.

I want to find joy in the journey, but it's so hard sometimes, when everything's so monotonous and unchanging. Routine. Scheduled. Bo-ring.

I wish I weren't so negative and annoying. I don't want to complain, but if I didn't, I'd become poisoned from everything that I didn't say. 

Well, my Sister P, I hope you had a fun ten minutes reading all that poo! :) Love ya, and thanks for reading!! And if you didn't get down this far, I understand. I don't think I'd want to read all that either.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhg (That means "blog" in boredspeek)

I'm going on a Facebook fast. I refuse to be one of the fat losers who spends all day on there because they have no one to hang out with. That goes for the computer in general, actually. And if this fast means that I'm gonna be melting with boredom, well, so be it. But I'm not gonna be a fat loser.

I just spilled salt on the carpet. On purpose. Why? Because.

Bad luck for me!

Thanksgiving's in a week, and I'm the only one not excited. Stupid apathetic girl.

Corn is delicious.

The conference ensign came yesterday. I was very happy. I've been wanting to read the talks (in print; online reading is lame) since conference.

Corn is especially delicious with salt. But not salt that was spilled on the floor. 

This morning I felt like baking, but I had only 1 1/4 cup of sugar left. I could have just reduced the sugar in the recipe that I had, but I felt spontaneous. So I mixed the sugar with a bit of oil (instead of butter), then added a buttload of punkin (not pureed, but cut up with scissors! 'Twas fun). Then I added more brown sugar than punkin (sooo much), then salt, punkin pie spice, cimmanon, baking soda, baking powder, a titch of sour creme (yeah, that's right: "Creme"), un huevo, and 3ish cups of flour (I kinda just dumped some in). Then I mixed it up, and decided I'd try to bake the resulting mush like cookies first. They were moist. But something was off. I couldn't waste whatever it is I had made, so I poured it all in a 9X13 pan, and it's baking-or something-as I type. Who knows what it'll look/taste/smell/sound like? It'll probably be disgusting. Tee hee. I had fun with it, though. And that's what matters!

The posts with pictures are always more readable. So here's a picture:

O

Corn!

Yeee-up. Corn corn corny corny corn. 

Sunday night I sat in the bleachers in the dark in the cold and looked at the stars. I would have fallen asleep but I was freezing to death. It was still an hour 'til spanish stadium singing started, but I didn't want to go all the way back to the Snow, so I decided to go under the stadiums and see if there was anywhere warm where I could take refuge. There are bathrooms under there, and I just prayed that they'd be heated (I wasn't literally praying, stupid). They were. Oh, they were. I used the bathroom, almost falling asleep on the toilet, then lay on my stomach on my jaquet on the floor and was writing in my notebook. I fell asleep. 

I woke up just as spanish stadium singing started. I went outside and listened. All of the songs that they sang were songs that I love. Then that was over and I moved in closer for the english one. I was by myself 'cuz Kat was at a friend's house, so I squished in by a wall so I wouldn't be by myself in the open. Then these majorly obnoxious, rude people came in and crowded me up against the wall. One of the dudes was a butthole and was being really rude (not to me, but in general). I just tried to ignore it. This week we sang primary songs, including the suuun-BEAM! song, and the Popcorn song, and the Snowman song. Oh, and Book of Mormon Stories. It was funny to see everyone doing the actions. I'm glad that college students aren't "too mature" to do stuff like this. 

I took The Thing out of the oven. It looks okay, but I have no idea what it'll taste like. 

No quiero ir a clase.

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IGNOMINIOUS

Next time you have nothing to do, go read Alma 5, and ask yourself those questions. It'll be fun! (really?)

Four weeks 'til school's over. I'm sad. I'm gonna go home where I have no friends and nothing to do and be truly bored out of my mind. Getting a job won't help. And there are no jobs to be had in Michigan with its crap economy anyway. I'll be cleaning the house all day. Or indexing for family history (shudder). And (to put it nicely) I am not fond of the ward in MI. 

I wrote on my hand ayer and woke up this morning with a perfect mirror image of the writing on my face in several places. Nice, vibrant blue ink, even. It didn't want to come off all the way. Stupid me. But it was hilarious!

Orright. I've wasted enough time telling no one about nothing. So I'm going to go waste my life s'mmore. Summat. Gerroff. You slimy git. I've been rereading the Harry Potter books. Blimey!

Okay. Really. 

Now.

Now.

Goodbye.

For the Beauty of the Earth

 I went to see the New York Chamber Soloists last night and they were AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! They say you discover things about yourself in college. I've discovered that I LOVE music!! You hear all those emo kids saying, "yeah, music is my life." But I'm not talking about loving music in the sense that I always have an earbud stuck in my ear, screaming the latest Top 40 into my brain. I don't really know how to describe it. All I can think of to say is that it's beautiful and it makes me happy, but that's so inadequate and indescriptive. It's the only way I can think to say it, though. They're performing again tonight and I'm so excited!!!! After last night's performance, I played piano for a bit, and then started home. But I looked up, and the sky was PERFECT!!! Perfect shade of midnight blue, perfect round moon, perfect clouds. I laid down in the grass in the Spori quad and just looked at the sky. It was really windy and cold, but the sky was so beautiful, and no one else was appreciating it, so someone had to. I watched the thin clouds rush across the moon, and the moon reflected off of the water droplets and made a rainbow halo around itself. And the stars were so bright, and you could tell through glimpses in between the clouds that the sky was clean and clear and cold. So beautiful. I just lay there for ten minutes, enjoying a private moment with space. Does anyone else ever do this? Just appreciate life? Take a moment and notice everything around you. Life is amazing.

It's really pretty outside again. Big puffy cotton clouds with a clear blue sky. Crisp, but not biting, air. Pure, cold sunlight.

I woke up freezing, but in another good mood. My roomie stayed up too late watching shows on her computer, so she skipped class--AGAIN--and I didn't have to deal with her disgusting breath and patronizing-ness and easy irritability(we're in the same class). I swear I can feel hate arrows coming out of her and piercing me whenever I'm around her. It doesn't help that she never eats breakfast and isn't able to handle staying up late. She's been skipping classes a lot recently because she's been staying up too late. And prolly 'cuz she's lazy. Oh! Story: we usually don't empty the trash can until it's spilling onto the floor. A couple days ago I had moved the trash can from underneath a counter to right next to the stove, because it was more convenient. I asked, "it's alright if that stays there, right?" And she said,"no, it's okay, as long as we empty our trash more often! It's really annoying, guys!" This doesn't sound bad, but the tone in which she said it really bothered me. With just her tone she made it sound like SHE was the only one who ever emptied the trash, poor her, pity her. So not true though. But I still would have been cool with this if it weren't for one other thing: SHE NEVER FREAKING RINSES HER DISHES!!!! Either that or she puts them under the faucet for five seconds and calls it clean. And THEN she puts the dirty dishes in the same place as the rinsed dishes. THIS bothers me more than anything. This isn't just laziness. This is her being so spoiled at home that she doesn't know how to properly wash dishes. This is her thinking that the dishes magically get done, or that the dishwasher can scrub away layers of crap. So she complains about the trash can even though she leaves her dishes for everyone else to clean. Spoiled, selfish brat thinks that if she picks up a speck of dust it means she can complain about other people not cleaning. 

Now that I got that out, from now on I'm just gonna suck it up and do the dishes. I was thinking, "well, I'm not gonna be nice and do the dishes if no one else will, because that's just not fair." But I can't wait for the world to change and then change myself. I've gotta start it. If I want people to be nice and do their part I have to be nice and do my part first. Besides, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my bretheren, ye have done it unto me." It's like my mom said, "you're not cleaning up your sister's stuff for her, you're cleaning it to help me."

One of my roommates is picking her nose and eating her boogers right in front of us. She's trying to be sly about it. SO disgusting.

Well, that's the end of my thoughts for now. Ciao!!!!!