George Washington Carver

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 

Last night was another Fun Thymes. Me N' roomies went out to eat at 6pm, then I left by myself at 7:10pm because I had a thing that started at 8pm and I had to be there at 7:30pm, ran-walked back to the dorm to grab my ticket, ran-walked to the Kirkham, met up with Kat, and we watched GRAND PIANOS LIVE!! (So mega-awesome. It was absolutely nothing like what I expected, more like Guitars Unplugged for pianos, but it was way cool.) It ended right at 9:25, and we ran out of the performance to go to the movies (the movie started at 9:30). We went to see The Dark Knight (Kat's first time, my second) and got there RIGHT AS the pre-preview commercials started. It was SWELTERING HOT in the theatre, so much so that I was feeling sick. I was exhausted and falling asleep near the end. The only parts I came to see were the parts with the Joker, because Dead Actor Guy played him SO WELL!! And then it was 12am-ish, and I stumbled home, three-fourths dead. I went straight to bed. I needed sleep. 

Woke up at 10am today, ate my cold leftover salmon from last night's dinner (I have no food, remember?), then made pancakes, because I have a gallon of whole milk that I bought to cook with, and I don't know what to use it on. I made waaay too many pancakes, and the one stares-at-me-when-I-eat roommate won't eat them. Jerk. I'll bet she won't even eat the dinner that I'm making for Sunday. And now, I'm gonna go to the grocery store, buy stuff for said dinner, bring the food home, and if I have money left over, I'm gonna buy some CDs. I doubt I'll have money left over, though. :( So I'll just have to withdraw more on Monday :) Let's see how long I can live on diet soda, eh? Food is for weenies.

So long and goodnight!

*FLUFF*

Have you heard the news that you're DEAD?

Okay, latest culinary awesomeness: Peanut butter bar things. Scotcheroos or some such. I had two recipes to choose from, but one needed rice krispies, which we don't have, and one needed graham cracker crumbs, which we also don't have. So I was sitting at the table, staring at my computer, being sad 'cuz I wanted to make something but couldn't 'cuz we didn't have the things I needed, and no substitues, when all of a sudden my brain is amazing and I remembered that I had cookie crumbs in the freezer. I jumped up (no kidding) all of a sudden, all excited, and yelled to my roommates that I had cookie crumbs. They paid no attention. So I used those, but I needed two cups, and only had one and a half cups of cookie crumbs. So I crushed up some pretzel sticks. And now, the peanut-butter bars are made, and I feel proud of myself. And thankful to Heavenly Father that He gave me these talents, of course. You know what? Just this second I was wondering whether Heavenly Father would send me the inspiration to use the cookie crumbs in place of the graham cracker crumbs, and I've decided that yes, He would do that. (Don't make fun of me.) He knows that I really felt like making something, and so He helped me remember that I had those. So all the credit goes to Him. That's just so...loving, that He would do something so insignificant like that, just to make me happy. I don't care what you people think, I think He helped me with that. Because I don't think I would have remembered those by myself.

And as a side note, don't throw those "useless" things away. You never know when you'll need them :D 

2 roomies at Walmart, one at class = blasting music from the computer into the apartment. A shadow of things to come during Thanksgiving break. Alone alone alone alone, for the first time since September!! 

[Insert funny, sarcastic ending here]

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

So last night I went on a DATE. My first real one since...ever. Oh, sure I went to junior prom, but that didn't count, 'cuz my sister set it up, and we weren't even really friends, and junior prom sucked. And then Craig...have you guys heard the Craig story? Well....

First day of school. After classes, I go to the gym. I can't find where the changing room is, and I ask this kid that I see if he knows where it is. But he says he's looking for it also. So we look for it, find it, say 'bye. I'm on the elliptical. See him as he goes to and from the weight room. An hour passes, I'm almost done, he comes up to me while I'm still on the elliptical. 

"Hey, uh, you wanna, uh, go on a date?"

 I'm like, what? But he's not ugly or fat, so I say, "Um, sure!"

 "Can I have your number?"

 I don't know it, so I give him my apt. number.

 "So, uh, when do you want to go?" 

"Umm...seven would be okay." 

 I finish, go back to the locker room, start home. As I'm walking home, I remember that we have FHE that night. So I say "Oh crap" to myself, and decide that I'll just skip FHE. After all, it IS my first date. So it's 6:45-ish. My roomies go to our FHE dudes' apartment. I wait. And wait. 'til 7:15. I leave a sticky note on the door, and go to FHE. Fast forward to Wednesday. I'm walking to the gym again after class. I run into Craigless. I find out he'd gone to a different apartment accidentally. So it was just a misunderstanding, a bad memory. Not a blow off. (although if he "liked" me enough to ask me on a date, how could he have not remembered the apartment number? Loser.) So we talk on the way to the gym, then set another date. i gave him my number, 'cuz i wrote it down (big mistake. now i have him listed in my phone as "Dont' Answer Me". Word to the wise- don't EVER give your number out to strangers. Especially strangers who ask you on dates). Fast forward to date night. My roomies decided to invite over one of our FHE bros (one of the roomies had/has? a crush on him) and get pizza and play games and stuff. So since Craigless' idea was to "i dunno, maybe go get something to eat?", i invited him over to do pizza and games with us. But FHE dude stayed just long enough to have a bit of pizza, then left, so I was stuck with Craig-o and nothing to do.  So then I ate my own dinner, and we sat at the table and talked about nothing interesting. I had to make the conversation. That's how boring he was. He's from alaska. A small, isolated town in Alaska. Without a McDonald's. WTF. What town doesn't have a McDonald's?! Anyways, I was bored, so I said "let's go out somewhere". Yeah. I was suggesting stuff. Lame. So we went to the MC and got some pints of ice cream and ate them there, and talked some more about nothing. Actually, I  talked about nothing, and asked questions. He just kinda sat there and was weird. And boring to death. But I pretended to have fun, and tried to trick myself that I was having fun. I wanted to be done already, but I don't know how to end a date, so we meandered around a bit, and we were like, "okay, what do we do now?" So he said, "wanna go to my apartment?" (oh, funny side-story: We were walking to his apt and I think we were talking about how much we loved BYU-I, and how we knew we were supposed to be here or something, and I remember this: "Yeah, my brother went here, and said he loved it. He met his wife in the first week he was there." I rolled my eyes mentally and thought to myself, 'yeah, real subtle, loser. What happened to tact? Or knowing a person first?'  I just laugh when I think about it.) So we get to his apt, and plop down on the couch. And watch football. And I'm still nice, and pretend to be interested, asking questions about how it works and such. I don't know how I ended it, I just know that I was glad when it was over. 

So he called me the next day to go to a demolition derby...two problems here. One: demolition derby?!?! What kind of girl wants to go to a demolition derby?!?!?!?!! Two: calling the night after the first date is just something you don't do. So I said no.

A couple days later I was thinking about it a bit more, and decided that Craigless was just boring. He just had a boring personality. Not fun. Not funny. He came to my apartment one night after he had gotten out of class on some Thursday, prolly, like, a week after date #1, and asked me on another date, and I said yes, even though I didn't want to. Thought I'd give him another chance. When the night came to go on a date, it felt like a chore. I didn't want to go at all. Once again, he had no idea what we were gonna do. Somehow we ended up going to his apartment complex's lounge, and we played a couple games of pool (neither of us knew what we were doing), a couple games of foozball, and a couple games of battleship. It would have been okay if he weren't just a lump. He didn't talk! He just laughed his annoying laugh. You KNOW a date is bad if I'm the one making most of the conversation and asking all the questions. So I eventually ended it by saying I was tired (i was) and earlier i had told him that i wanted to be back by nine 'cuz it was saturday before church or something. i was actually tired; i stayed up late the night before. And it was close to nine. So he walked me home. I either kept my phone off or left it on silent for a while after this. (cruel, cruel. But I don't have good coping strategies when it comes to people. So there.) A month or so later (I actually don't know. Time is weird here. It may have been longer, it may have been shorter) I was with roomies at some flag football thing. Phone rang, nonlabelled number came up. I answered, t'was Craig-o.

 "Hey, uh, haven't talked to you in a while." You don't talk.

 "I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to go on another date." NO NO NO NO

 "Uh, sure."

 "Alright...how 'bout, um, tomorrow?"

 "I'm busy tomorrow." I really was. It was a hectic week. 

"Um, heh, alright, what about Friday?"

 "I'm doing something else on Friday" I was.

 "What about Saturday?" 

"Noooo, I'm waay busy on Saturday." And I was. Like I said, hectic week. 

"Alright, what're you doing next week?"

 "I have no idea. I never know what I'm doing for the week until I'm already into it." True also. "Alright. How about I just call you sometime next week then?" 

"Alright" 

"Alright. Heh. Well, talk to ya later then..." 

"Yep! Bye!"

 "Bye..."

He didn't call back. Thank goodness. I'm a bad  person...

Where was I....Oh, right. So I don't count those as dates. But last night (I guess it's two nights ago now, since it's one AM!) me n' date went to Subway and then swing dancing, and it was actually fun! I felt way self-conscious when I was swing dancing, but it was still good. 

Hmm, other random stuff...

I made a pumpkin roll today. With cream cheese frosting filling. My roomies and neighbor assured me it was good. I overcooked the cake a bit, and the frosting filling looked ugly, but whatever. If they liked it, I'm happy. I'm gonna make pumpkin muffins some time, and pumpkin pie, and pumpkin pancakes. By time this month is over, our dorm's gonna hate pumpkin :D

But we share it with the world, so it's okay. Roomies take the stuff to work and class and neighbors and stuff. I'm wondering if they're giving me enough credit, though....I need to be known for SOMETHING. And baking is all I know, 'specially since I killed my nails. Maybe I'll get my hair done again. Or maybe just give up and fade into the background as before.

Tonight I went to a performance in the Snow building put on by a club called "Piano Improv Workshop". It was SO AMAZING!! Everything they played, they made up right there. It was soooo amazing. I asked if I could go to the workshop (every Thursday), even though I've never played an instrument and could only recognise a few notes and have never played the piano. They said yes. So I am going. And then I went to my favorite piano and played "Lead Kindly Light" and the soprano and alto of a couple other hymns, and the only song I actually know: a simplified version of Canon. Then I actually communicated with the piano for a little bit when I played some random stuff, trying to convey my emotions. It sucks; I can hear the piano calling, and it tries to tell me things, but I can't understand its language, except briefly for a VERY few occasions. But when I do connect, and understand, and communicate, it is so beautiful, I can't even describe the feeling. I can't wait for my class next semester. And maybe they'll teach me stuff at the improv workshop. I hope so. And then today there's a thing called Grand Pianos Live. I'm so stoked. It's gonna be awesome.

Saturday I'm going to Walmart to buy a couple of CDs and then to grocery store to buy groceries with whatever money's left. I have no idea what to buy, though..the only really cheap things are food that's bad for you, like Ramen, less than a dollar for eight or something, but 190 cals and too much fat for 1/2 the package. So 380 for the whole thing. And it doesn't even fill you up. Then there are those disgusting fake-food frozen Banquet meals. I could just eat a can of tuna for a meal, I guess. But that'll get boring really fast. So it'll be fun to see what I do.

On Sunday, there's stake conference, and I'm singing in the choir (they sound so awesome. I'm excited). Then I'm making CRANBERRY MEATBALLS for dinner, and those are SOO good. Kat's coming to eat with us. It'll be a blast. And then there's stadium singing, claro que si!

I have ANOTHER 1500 word paper due on Thursday, a critique. How do I make a critique be 1500 words?!?!? Crazy english teacher. He's way cool though. A really nice old guy. I like him a lot. But this one-semester english class is gonna kill me. OH!! I did get an 82% on my english test that I took on Tuesday. I was stoked. Maybe I'll actually pass that class with more than a D. That's more than I can say for math, though. I got a lovely 64% on my last test. It was on finances and crap. Husbands do that stuff. Not women. Women cook. Women clean. Women take care of kids. Husbands earn the money and budget and do finances. And if I don't get married, I'll.....be a hobo. They don't have to worry about finances. So there. 

I was so out of it last night when I was writing in my journal. My brain just shut off, so I closed the journal, put it on a shelf by my bed, and went to sleep. I think I was asleep before I even hit the pillow. I don't even remember. I woke up the next morning to find that I hadn't even gotten under the covers. XD I must have been waay dead. And I stay up late again. Stupid stupid stupid. 

My mum sent a package last Monday, and it came yesterday. :D It had scarves, hats, gloves, my recipe book (YES YES YES!!! I CAN COOK NOW!!! I'm psyched!!), church boots, not-ugly tennis shoes, four church books, and a birthday card that made me happy and sad. I wish I were going home for Thanksgiving. But after Thanksgiving break, there are only two weeks left of school, and then it's home for Christmas break. I know I'm gonna be sad to leave this place, though. There are so many things that I'm gonna miss: the Snow building and the variety of musics that come out of the practise rooms, and the pianos in the building that are free for anyone to use, Music Outlet, Stadium Singing, my ward, church choir, walking to the grocery store because you have to, not 'cuz you want to, my Book of Mormon class, the shows that the college has, my freedom, my independence, the Spirit of Ricks, my roommates, my neighbors, staying up unhealthily late, the Spori quad, being able to walk wherever you want whenever you want (within curfew, of course), modesty in language and dress, people's kindess, everyone having nearly the same standards, the Honor Code, my bishop, the Hinckley building, the Gardens, DI...so many things. All just to go see my family....I don't even know if my baby bro remembers me. He can say everyone else's name, and he's learned so much.

It's 2:41 now.

My computer has something wrong with it, my camera has something wrong with it, and tonight I broke the bulb in my bed light. Now I just need to break an arm or leg.

I'm so tired but I hate sleeping. There are so many other things I really want to be doing right now.

I still love pianos, and am so glad I could go to the Piano Improv performance. I just can't get over how cool it was! They were so talented, and so kind, and they seemed like such fun people. And I fear I'll never be able to play the piano well. I really want to play Chopin's stuff. It's so full of emotion. I'm listening to his Nocturne #2 right now......so beautiful. SO beautiful. It's my absolute favorite song for the piano that I've heard so far. I love that bittersweet sound.

One of my roomies is passive-agressive. She's rude in a girly, manipulative "oh, sorry, didn't know that would make you mad. no offense" kind of way. Girls. Emotions. Both useless. Both necessary.

It's so dry. The inside of my nose hurts.

I'm tired. I hate sleeping. It's not even three. I just want it to be Saturday. I want those CDs. 

For any of you who actually read this all the way through, CONGRATS!! I just wasted several minutes of your life. 

Orright. Can't drag it out any longer. I'm gonna collapse. Tiempo para dormir. 

'night y'all.

Chole Lammy

Sing Like You Think No One's Listening

I feel weird, like I'm floating. It's cool, but it's disorienting. :P

I'm gonna burn out by time I'm 25. 

I made three different types of pumpkin cookie dough this morning, and for one of them, I divided it three different ways: I made it according to recipe the first time; I added more flour the second time (they were lookin' a bit flat); and the third time, I added chocolate chips. It was fun. But I still have SO MUCH PUMPKIN left!! All I can think of to make is cookies or bread.  

I had Chex again this morning. I had it for breakfast and dinner last night. It's either that or canned corn. Or I could eat snacks. Pretzel sticks. I'm thinkin' of making some more of Kat's awesome tortillas...in fact, how 'bout a recipe?!?

Kat's Tortillas

2 cups flour

1 tsp salt

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup oil

Mix it all together in a bowl in that order. Adjust water and flour as needed, until it's not sticky, and not dry. Cover bowl with a damp towel, and let sit 15 mins. Divide into 2-inch-ish balls, and flatten them with a rolling pin or some other flattening device. Cover tortillas with a cloth as they're made, 'cuz otherwise they'll dry out.  Heat a skillet or a pan or something to high, and put a bit of oil in there, or spray some cooking spray. Wait until it's hot, then put a tortilla in it. Cook for...maybe 30 seconds? on each side. You'll be able to smell if it's overcooked :)

Enjoy!

Chloe

Another Cog in the Murder Machine

I FINISHED MY PAPER!! 

Actually, I'm 75 words short. But what I've written has taken all of my brainpower, and then some.  I just am not good at writing essays. I say what I need to say, then I'm done. I don't flower or use fifty words when three will work. 

Now I just have to read 9 pages before 12:45, the devotional scriptures before 2, study for and take a math test before 4:30, print off my paper, study for an english test before 4:30, take said test, and I'm good! .... X(

The stress ends tomorrow at 4:15, when my american foundations class ends (in which i have another test that i still need to study for) and starts again at 4:30, when english class starts, and when we'll be informed of our NEXT 1500 word paper. Glug.

I think I'm allergic to writing essays. I think the essays that I try to write are allergic to me. I think diet caffeine-free mountain dew tastes good. 

Poooooooooop. Okay. I'm gonna do my homework now. 

(And still she procrastinates?! Psycho-lady.)

Wheat Chex and Soymilk

I hate that it gets so dark so early. Then it feels like you're not allowed to do anything. But I really wanna go somewhere. But there's nowhere to go. And I need 377 more words for my essay. And I need to take two tests tomorrow. And I don't know if I have math homework. I need....a break. 

But I made Baklava for the first time for FHE tonight. Everyone said they liked it. I also made pumpkin bars this morning (because of the massive amount of pumpkin I have that needs a-usin') and took those. I don't think my roomies like to eat the stuff I make. At least, one doesn't.  But she's a freak. We still have some pumpkin bread and some pumpkin seeds. 

My nails are gone, so it's easier to play the piano. It's way awesome. I almost have "Lead Kindly Light" (#97) down. Well, no, I know the parts, but putting them together makes my hands go slowly.

I hate these lulls.

Nothing Is Real

Hey, I found this draft. I think I was out of it when I was writing it. Which is why it was saved as a draft, and not posted. I must have just closed my computer and zombied my way to bed.

Hummmmmm......haven't posted in 4eva.  I cut my nails...actually, I ripped them all off :)

I made my pinky bleed. And now I have short nails. But I can "play" the piano better!! I'm excited about that. The only other problem is that now, I have absolutely nothing to set me apart from the masses. I am, as the blog proclaims, "averagechlo". Nothing special or outstanding, unless it stands out how plain I am.

I have a paper due Monday, a paper due Tuesday, two tests on Tuesday, and a test on Wednesday. It's stinkwad supreme.  But I'll survive. 

My computer was being all stupid, but it's okay-ish now. It started tonight: whenever I'd turn it on, it would give me a black screen that said "blah blah blah blah reseat your memory". I didn't know what to do, so I called Mom (at 11pm my time, 1am their time :D ). Thank goodness she was still up painting. So she woke up Dad, and he took a couple minutes to be coherent, and then he tried to help me but couldn't (His expertise is in macs. He worked for Apple for some years), and then looked for a number for customer support at Dell. I called them, and they were actually really helpful, but in the end I needed to unscrew the back of my laptop to "reseat the memory" (take it out and put it back in). I don't have any tools at all, so I was kinda bummed, but then I thought one of my FHE bros might have mini-screwdrivers (he did) and he was awesome enough to drive down to my dorm to drop them off with 10 minutes left until curfew was over. I found one that worked, unscrewed my laptop, readjusted, figured out how to put it back in, and screwed my laptop back together. I turned it on. It didn't work. So I repeated that a couple more times, then I prayed, then did it again, and it still didn't work.  But I found something online that said something like, "I had bad memory and I removed it and my comp worked". So I removed the memory, and my comp worked!! I prayed again (always give thanks right after, or you'll forget!!). Now I know that the memory is being stupid. But why is it being stupid? Why all of a sudden? Either I have a virus, I damaged something (doubt it), or one of my roomies stepped on my comp or something. But they wouldn't tell me if I did. And while we're on the subject of not telling, MY ROOMIES KEEP STEALING MY FOOD!!! I was almost 3,000% positive that the diet sodas that I JUST bought were being stolen, and I have proof!! Whenever I drink a soda, I pull off the tab that you use to pop it open (I'm collecting them :P ), and I found one in the trash that DIDN'T have the tab off. Isn't it enough that I bake for them all the time? That I spent all my grocery money on baking stuff? But now they're not eating the stuff I baked for them, and I (being the stupid paranoid idiot jerk that I am) feel like they're doing it on purpose, like they know that there's lots of calories in it, so they won't eat it. I know. Illogical, irrational, unlikely. But that's what I think. I also think one of my roomies won't eat in front of me, but that may just be me projecting: I'm afraid to eat in front of this roomie, because she STARES at me and tries to see what I'm eating (I KNOW that this isn't paranoia.) And then I feel like when I do eat in front of her, she gets this air of triumph, and has a noticeable improvement in mood, like she was just waiting for me to eat so that she could be like, "ha ha, you ate, and I didn't." And the stupidest thing is that she eats all these way high-cal, fatty, unhealthy foods, because I see the wrappers and boxes in the trash, but just not around me, I guess. And she's "overweight" or whatev. Fat. But there are so many subtle things that she does that just makes me wonder. And it may be all in my head, and I may be reading too much into it. But it's really bothering me. 

I'm tired all of a sudden. It's only 2:35.

I bought a 10-lb bag of flour on Friday, plus a buttload of other bakingstuffs. I am SO stoked. I LOVE LOVE LOVE baking!! I'm making baklava for FHE tomorrow. But I need to go buy nuts and brown sugar. And I need more yeast. 

Holy cow, I'm falling asleep sitting here. I need to STOP going to bed so late. And procrastinating. And eating right before I go to bed.