School's Starting Tomorrow...

How is it that we cannot stop hoping that the people who we like, who do not like us back, will like us, even when we know logically that there is no chance of reciprocation? Why do we still try? Is it emotions again? I know, logically, that there are people who will never like me back, yet I still have a hope that they will. I wish I could become a Vulcan.

Also, I looked at my current debt. Knowing the amount makes it less scary. Now, I just need to find a job that's close enough to my parent's house so that I can save on expenses, and pay off my loans as quickly as possible. Then I'll save for a car, and once I have a car, I'll save so that I can start life on my own, perhaps down in Provo, because there's dancing there.

Now that school's starting tomorrow, I'm anxious, in both a good way and a bad way. Good, because it's learning, and it'll give me something to do, and with the beginning of school comes the beginning of school dances; Bad, because it means that graduation is nearer, and because it means I have to call for an interview for an internship soon, and because I've been on break and so I have to get back into the habit again.

I'm also anxious that I won't be able to get into the O-Chem class that I want, and so I'll be less 3 credits that I'll need to fill with something, and I don't really have a backup plan in mind.

Also, for the past 2 nights I've had chase dreams, the type where the pursuers are only minutes behind, and where you escape by only a hair. Two nights ago, I dreamt that a psycho hick guy, age 24-26, was chasing me and my sister with a razorblade. He was relentless, and managed to cut me many times before I stabbed his eyes out. He always had a semi-blank, almost calm, leering expression on his face, and once I stabbed out his eyes, he put away his razors and left. It was only a simulation from this haunted house thing that my family went to, but it felt very real.