Busy

Yes. I am busy. So busy, I don't feel like talking. I run around all day and it's awesome. I ate way too many cookies today. I love school. I love piano, but I don't feel like I'm improving. I love the temple, I love prayer, I love church, I love devotional, I love life. And that's what I have time for.

My Thoughts

I wish I could escape memories. They're tied in to everything: objects, places, temperatures, colours, smells, words. Memories evoke emotions, thoughts, that I don't want.

Where's the reset button? This game's not going how I want it to go. Where's rewind? Can't I start this over from a certain point?

I can't just leave a place when I don't want to remember anymore. That doesn't solve the problem. I want to erase the memories. I want to start life again, lessons kept but experience forgotten. It's not just the bad, but also the good that haunt me. I want to start life again, nothing holding me back. I don't want to have every object, place, temperature, colour, smell, word, be associated with some memory. Memories evoke emotions, thoughts, that I don't want. I wish I could escape memories.

WHAT?! FHE can be FUN?!?!?

The one on the left is MPD, on the right, FD. 

Read below for details.

OhmygoshtodaywasAWESOME!

Okay, it started all same-like. Class (I love chem), then to the Snow for an hour to practise, then home to do homework (done), then off to class again (it was all the way across campus to the Ricks and my shins and calves KILLED ME). It was math (my teacher's so awesome-Sister Eastman-we went to the vending machines to learn about functions), then BOM, where our teacher tied in Elder Bednar's devotional and us being the chosen generation with the Abrahamic covenant. He knows his scriptures so well, and he explained everything as a big circle of logic. It was so awesome, and he totally put everything into perspective. (Side note- everything is so connected. I keep noticing that.) Then to nutrition, where I was bored again, then home and eating dinner (leftovers). Then chilled for a bit, then met Char at the Snow to go get contracts for College Avenue (I'm gonna room with Char! It'll be great! And apparently lots of music and art majors live on college avenue, so maybe I'll meet some awesome people). Then to the Snow to practise, then home. 

This is the fun part: I got home, two of our FHE bros were there. The original FHE was to have the ward gather at the Auxiliary gym in the Fart, but they forgot to reserve it. So we were at our house, wondering what to do. FHE bro #1 (who shall henceforth be referred to as Mission in the Philippines Dude, or MPD for short) suggested we go to Caesarito's, because he was hungry. I suggested we go to Braulims and I make chocolate chip cookies. No one had a lesson because they had planned on dodgeball to get them out of it, so when it was made known that a few of them had fallen asleep during the CES fireside, I got my notes out and shared some of my thoughts on the fireside. Then we walked to Braulims, got stuff, walked back home, and I made cookies. MPD left to go swimming after about an hour, and I was still in the kitchen baking. I came out after a while, and chilled on the arm of the couch. A while later, after about 30 mins of chilling and not doing much, we somehow got on to mission stories, and so I told FHE bro #2 (who shall henceforth be referred to as Funny Dude, or FD for short) to tell us some stories. Oh man, did he tell stories. He is a GREATAWESOME storyteller. He's hilarious, descriptive, and never laughs at his own jokes. He did that for about 3 hours, and we learned all about his companions. He laced everything with humor, but he definitely communicated lessons underneath all that. Oh man. It was awesome. I wish I could have recorded it all. 

Some main points:

*Missions are hard

*Companions can be really weird

*Missions are the worst best time of your life

*Ugly girls go to the Chicago North Spanish-speaking Mission

*Chicago is not the most fun place to go on a mission

*Have a definitive break-off with anyone you've dated before a mission

*Winters in Chicago are brutal

It was awesome though. Seriously awesome. And I'm gonna be dead tired tomorrow.

It's Thursday.

MEow. 

Class, and then piano, and then class, and then home, and then temple, but they were too full so I sat in the chapel and read scriptures and pondered (lemme tell ya, it's the BEST place to read scriptures and think), then home, then out to eat (paid for by Emm's AWESOME mother- I'm gonna miss her when she goes) (Emms is AWESOME too), then piano, then home, then talking with the roomies (I have THE BEST roomies in the entire world). And now I'm refusing to go to bed.

Emily and I went to the temple together. On the three-or-so minute drive up there, she played "Praise To The Man" sung by MoTab and it was AWESOME. Then right as we got out of the car, there was lightning and the wind was blowing really hard and we almost died. Then we got in the temple and were told it was too full for me to do baptisms (that's how it should be) and so I sat in the chapel and studied my scriptures and read my patriarchal blessing. I really felt the spirit. I'm going to do baptisms on Saturday, so it's okay. Man, it was awesome though. And I know for sure that you receive blessings when you go to the temple. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to be at a university where we begin each class with a prayer, and where we have a temple within walking distance, where the spirit helps us to learn, where nearly everyone is a member and has the same standards. Where teachers tie the scriptures in to their lessons, and guys use stories from their missions when answering questions. Where all the buildings are dedicated. Where we have devotional each week. Oh my goodness. "Count your many blessings" for sure.

But after the temple, we started "Praise to the Man" again, and it came to the last verse, where it crescendos and becomes really epic, and we were driving right past the temple and it was so beautiful...it made me cry. I had the thought, "Satan will be defeated." Man. I love this gospel. 

So tomorrow's Friday and TGIF. Piano and roommates and whatever else. And then Saturday and the temple and hanging with Char again and then Sunday and testimonies and more awesome lessons. Sunday's always a good day. Then do it all over again. But I love it (except for nutrition class. I know everything already and it's such a bore...I just doodle the whole time. But it's better than that genetics class I dropped. At least this is easy and I don't have to do any thinking.) So yeah. Still no complaints. I love chemistry and look forward to it each day. I love college algebra and look forward to it also. I look forward to BOM because my teacher is awesome and so is that class. I don't look forward to nutrition, but like I said, it's easy. Then there's communications, and I thought I'd hate that class, but I absolutely love it and I think I'm going to make a few friends from that class. And it's definitely going to help me be more social and confident. I can tell already. I love to listen to people and have them tell your stories. And I've found that it's really easy to have a conversation with someone if you keep them talking about themselves. When I had that thought, I laughed. 

Oh, and I bought goggles for chem and felt like a huge nerd, and I also felt sort of proud of my nerdiness. But that'll come crashing down when I actually have to wear them.

I have one of the piano songs stuck in my head. The one by Scarlatti. I like that one. Can you hear it too?

I hate falling asleep. I love dreaming. I'm okay with sleep. I hate going to sleep full. I love going to sleep hungry. Dogmuffin.

I love my hair. So do other people. I've gotten compliments, and it makes me happy. It also makes me think that there are more people who like my hair who just don't tell me. I think compliments about people that I don't tell them. Shame on me.

I'm tired. I feel like drawing. I have a chem quiz that I need to take tomorrow or Saturday. Tomorrow for sure. 

Rexburg. I love it here. 

But the weather won't make up its mind. But I love it. It rained today. And hailed. And snowed. And fogged. What the heck.

So I love my life, and that's all there is to it. I'm freezing.

Another Post of Exponential Existential Experimental Happiness

I LOVE THIS SCHOOL!

Ten things I've learned:

1. You learn more from classes if you prepare beforehand

2. If you do homework right when you get home, you have more free time

3. If you participate in ward activities, you have more fun

4. It's good to be not shy

5. People are generally nice

6. You learn more from church if you prepare beforehand

7. The temple is an awesome place

8. You get SO SO SO SO SO many blessings from going to the temple

9. If you do your part, the Lord helps you

10. Talking with friends is way fun

Yes yes yes. And on the topic of number eight: oh yes. OH YES. I can tell that I'm being helped in classes, I'm being helped with piano (I LOVE PIANO and I can tell I have improved so much! I had my first piano lesson today and I was assigned some tough stuff. But the awesome awesome thing is that I know I can do it- and that's never happened before, where I know I can do something. One's Scarlotti or something like that, and it's fast and chord-y, and another is by some soviet dude, and I know that with practise I can do them! I am SO excited. Oh, and that Fantasia by Mozart? I'm re-working on that- and oh my gosh I can READ THE MUSIC and PLAY IT! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!! I want to tell EVERYONE! I want to show EVERYONE!! It's so awesome, and it makes me so incredibly awesomely magically superfantastically HAPPY!!! I can't even describe! It's like those times when I could keep writing and writing how HAPPY and THANKFUL I am!!), I'm being helped to be social, I'm being helped with homework. There are so many things that I'm able to understand that I know I wouldn't understand otherwise. I'm doing what I am supposed to, and the Lord is helping me out, and I don't deserve to be blessed this much, but I am SO THANKFUL! Ohmygosh. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY! My classes are awesome, my classmates are awesome, piano's awesome, I got a calling today and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do but I'm happy to have a calling, my roommates are awesome (AWESOME!), my ward is awesome, our FHE brothers are awesome (hilarious!!), and I have absolutely no complaints. 

I am a bit scared though. I thought I was supposed to be having trials? I'm happy. What's going on?

I can tell that other talents are improving too: drawing and some inside talents. Geez. My cup runneth over for sure.

Tell your friends, tell your mother, tell your dog, tell your dog's fleas, tell your house, tell your grass, tell the sky and the clouds and the rain and the stars and tell the world that Chloe Adell Lammi is the absolute most happy she has ever been in her entire life and that she is so thankful for everything that Heavenly Father has given her and that she wants to be the best she can be to please Him and to make this happiness last. OH my gosh. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am happy. Did I say that already? I'll say it again. I am happy. I am happy. I am HAPPY. I AM HAPPY!!!!! LLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

I give everyone in the entire world a ginormous hug right now. Feel it?

Love.

Love.

LOVELOVELOVE.

Oh, life is...as near to perfect as is possible at this point in time. Tell the world. I am happy.

This is My life in a NUTSHELL (a large nutshell, like a walnut or maybe a coconut)

WORK!

Whoa. Last semester was like a fetus compared to this semester. It's awesome though. AWESOME! I can tell that the spirit is definitely helping me learn, and I love LOVE that we start each class with a prayer, because it helps. I have gen chem every day, 7:45-8:45, and I love it. We're breezing through everything. Thank goodness I have such an awesome group. There's this one dude who knows everything, it seems, and he's really good at explaining. The other two people are nice also. Because my class is so early, I've been going to bed early...10-11pm early...

I have college algebra, and that class is going to just be an enhanced review of everything. I feel really stupid sometimes, though, because I know that I know how to do the math, but I don't remember how to do it, and it's such simple math! Oh, but something really cool: I've never been good at story problems (they confuse me unless they're really simple) but because we have the spirit here, I was able to figure through some that I would never have known how to do before. I LOVE  BYU-I!

Let's see...I have BOM part 2, and my teacher's hilarious, and he makes class comfortable. Like, I think I may actually comment in that class....maybe. In the first class, he said something about how he can tell how good a class is going to be by how they sing the first hymn (with parts and stuff). We sang without midi, without piano. We started on the first line of "We Thank Thee, Oh God, for a Prophet", and everyone sang the melody....then when we came to the second line, it was like, all of a sudden, there was the bass, and the alto, and the tenor...it was SO SO SO beautifulcoolawesome! It made me smile, and it definitely brought the spirit. That class will be more work, but I know I'll get so much out of it.

Then I had a foundations genetics class, but I dropped it. It was not interesting, and now I know I'll never do anything with genetics (although I do have to take a class in genetics for my major...funtimes.) Instead, I signed up for a nutrition class. It's all stuff I know, and so it'll be easy, and perhaps enlightening...but probably not. I know nutrition.

Then Tues/Thur, I have a communications class...that class is CRAZY. It's going to be one of the worst discomforts of my life, but I know that if I put effort into it, it'll help me. 

Then I have lab on Tues, 3:15-5:15, and we didn't do a lab this time, but worked on a worksheet. And now I understand sigfigs. SIGFIGS!

Today at 4:30 I go to the snow to fill out a card to be assigned a piano teacher, and they'll probably tell me that I'm not good enough and I'll have to start from the beginning. But that's okay, because I could use the practise, I guess. 

And I'm being responsible this semester, actually doing my homework right after I come home. It's good. If I didn't do that, I'd fall way behind. And I have nothing else to do anyway. If I had any free time at all, it would probably be spent on Facebook. And that is a tremendous waste of time. 

I say "and" a lot.

I also say "awesome" a lot.

The weather was really interesting yesterday. The sky was all nice and blue and cumulus-y, and I was in the Hinckley, looking out at the sky for an hour, and gradually, these huge, dark, sweet storm clouds moved in. I took pictures. I still had 20-ish minutes before class, so I went outside and lay (lie? laid? Stupid english) in the grass, and looked at the sky. I took more pictures. It got really windy, and eventually I went to the genetics class (which I dropped that night). After class, as I was walking through the gardens to get home, it started raining all of a sudden. But part of the sky was still beautiful and cumulus-y, and right above, it was dark and ominous and heavy. So the sun was still shining, and it was raining. It was summer rain. There was that smell...that smell of just-rained-on sunbaked concrete. LOVE!! Then, a couple minutes later, it stopped. I was across the street from Kerr when the absolute most awesome thing happened. It started raining again, but this time I was in FULL sun, with the dark clouds to the left, and the sun to the right, and it RAINED for  maybe three minutes, then it stopped. It. was. cool. I took pictures. Emmz said that it hailed where she was. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

Oh, haha, also, during Music Outlet on Monday, there were almost no people there, since it was the first one, and I assume not many people knew that they were having it that night, and people were just getting up and performing (usually they sign up) and then the last person who got up did this:

He stood by the mike for a minute, with his guitar, and said something like, "Hang on, trying to remember how this goes...." Then he looked into the audience and asked, "what's your name" to people sitting in the second row. There was a guy and his wife, and the guy answered, but then Man On Stage said, "no, the girl sitting next to you". Wife answered, "Alyssia" or something like that, and MOS said, more to himself, "A-lyss-i-a...no, that won't work". Then this: "What's your name in the mickey mouse shirt?" "Chloe", said Chloe. And then he said, to himself again, "Chlo-e, chlo-e, yeah, that'll work." And then, oh my gosh, it was so funny!!! he started singing: "Chlo-o-e, can't you see, you're the only girl for me, Steph-a-nie. Steph-a-nie, can't you see, you're the only girl for me, Na-an-cy. Na-an-cy, can't you see, you're the only girl for me, (and then he paused for a second) An-tho-ny. An-tho-ny, can't you see, you're the only guy for me, Ti-mo-thy. Ti-mo-thy, can't you see, you're the only guy for me, (he paused again) ...Chlo-o-e." That's not exact, but you get the idea. It was so funny. I felt kinda bad afterward, though, because there was this other girl there who had on a mickey mouse sweater, but I know he was asking me because I was a few rows behind Wife Alyssia, and a bit to the left. Funtimes.

I took the math 110 placement test (i don't know why you have to take it when you've already taken 108, but whatever) and got 26/30, 86%. Nothing to brag about, but I'm happy. It's not for a grade, just so that you know you're in the right class. 

I'm dissolving my enamel with diet soda, in all its caramel-coloured goodness. 

Our chem teacher made homemade rootbeer in chem this morning. Chem class rules. So does Bro. Manner. He's a cool guy. But that class would be way hard if you had never had chem before. 

In short: I love college, I have lots of homework, the weather is awesome, and this semester's gonna be the best semester in the entire history of the world (at least until next summer).

Another post.

I got my books, I made an awesome card, and I hope to go to the Snow tonight. I'm actually having a written-down budget, too. That way I can see if I have extra moneys. 

My classes this semester will be so interesting, but so hard. It'll be cool.

<3

That is all.