Deep Thoughts, I suppose

Oh my.


Do you know what it's like to not have friends? At all? To be completely alone, no one to talk to, no one to be with? That's what it was in MI. Complete isolation. And I do mean complete. You really have no idea. But I am not getting into that.

But then, coming to college, and finally having lots of friends, and having people care about me, and having them acknowledge the things I do, everyone making me feel special, and loved, and liking me for me...it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. 

I am so glad, though, for MI, because without those experiences, I wouldn't be able to appreciate these things as much as I do. I really am so grateful for trials. Unfortunately, it's not until after the trial is over that I recognise what a blessing it was. I really need to work on my attitude. I don't like that I'm ungrateful for those things that are good for me. Stupid natural man.



Be thankful for everything you have, good and bad. A lesson I still must learn.




And please, please, PLEASE appreciate nature!! Too often its beauty is wasted. Take 20 minutes, go outside, and just look. Look. Notice the small things. Notice everything together. Acknowledge it. Don't live life without enjoying nature every day. Please. It is so beautiful.

Chloe

Another novel for your reading pleasure: THE SEQUEL!!

Mmm. Can you hear the Beethoven? I can.

Started reading Les Miserables UNABRIDGED (yeah man) today.  M. Hugo is long-winded and opinionated, but also a good writer. 63 pages into it and the main story hasn't even started. I'm enjoying it.

Made stuffing, yams, and BREAD today. Recipe time? Recipe time.

Amish White Bread

From allrecipes.com

2 cups warm water (110 degrees F)

2/3 cup white sugar

1 1/2 Tablespoons yeast

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1/4 cup vegetable oil

6 cups bread flour

In a large bowl, dissolve the sugar in warm water, then mix in yeast. Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam. 

Mix salt and oil into the yeast mixture. Mix in flour one cup at a time. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Place in a well-oiled (cooking-sprayed) bowl, and turn dough to coat (just spray it with cooking spray). Cover with plastic wrap. Put in a warm place, and let rise until doubled, about an hour. 

Punch down dough. Knead for a few minutes, and divide in half. Shape into loaves, and place into two oiled-and-floured 9x5" baking pans. Put in warm place, and let rise for 30 mins or until dough is 1 inch above the sides. 

Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 mins. 

I have a previous post with a bread recipe, and I added in a whole bunch of tips and stuff, but I say you just have to try it, and learn for yourself. If I added in all my tips, tricks, and things I've learned, it would be four times as long, and wouldn't make much sense. So go ahead and just try this! If nothing else, it will taste good. 

Other stuff:

I got.......TEXTING!!!!!!!!! I have completely conformed, given in, gone mainstream. But who cares? It is fun!!! I can bug anyone at any time now (unlimited, man!)!! And my dad sent me videos and photos from home. I've watched them a lot. I was reminded of one of Joseph Smith's letters to Emma, where he says something like, "I've read your letter over and over. It was a sweet morsel to me." If you want to know what he actually said, look in lesson...21 (?) of the Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith book. It's about families or something. Comes right before the lesson about the millennium or different kingdoms or whatever. Those videos and pics were such small morsels, but oh so sweet. Two weeks!! I can't wait to help my mom, and see the cats, and drive places. I've become SO much more independent in college, and so I'll finally be able to go to stores by myself and not be scared. And since gas is cheap now, I can do it!! I'm gonna explore! I'm gonna enjoy life! Man, I'm stoked. But I'll miss BYU-I, and the spirit there. 

I don't know if the world's decided to conspire against me, but recent devotionals, church lessons, and talks have made me want to have kids. Before college, I was SO against having kids. I thought my life would be over. I still don't know if I'll have much of a life after kids. But this one devotional especially made me so excited. No me recuerdo who the speaker was. It was  a GREAT talk though, all about how being a mother, having families, etc. is the main reason why we're here; how raising kids is REALLY important; how it's so rewarding. It's what everyone says, so it must be true. And so I'm looking forward to it (after I graduate, claro que si). This has also made me want to prepare. If I'm gonna be a good mom, I have so much I need to work on. Selflessness, patience, caring, understanding, tolerance, confidence, self-esteem. So thank goodness I have at least four years to prepare. I definitely need it. And I'm planning on starting in my immediate family. Helping mom, working on getting along with the sibs, helping with Thaden. Ooh, I love this song...concerto...whatever. Tchaikovsky. 

So college is a time for preparation. I'll do it. I'm able. I'm willing. I've got nothing better to do, so why not work on eternal salvation? :D

Well, life is fun. Life is good. Life is awesome. I love life. I love lamp. And that's all there is to it. 

Man, I don't know why, but I LOVE PIANO!! And I cannot say it enough. Bear with me. Or maybe bare with me. We have a right to it. You know, second amendment and all that.

I wish it were tomorrow. I want to feast. I didn't eat much today, and didn't have dinner, and I'm not eating tomorrow until dinner. It's gonna be great! Food tastes the best when you're starving. 

Meh. I think the earlier I go to bed, the later I get up and the more tired I am. Seriously. I went to bed around 1am the first night I was here, and got up at 8 and was all fine and dandy. Then I went to bed around 12, got up at 8. Then 11-ish, got up at 10. Then last night I went to bed around 10 (!!) (yeah, I know!!) and got up at 9, but definitely could have slept in more. Maybe my body's been storing up all the times when I've not slept, and is cashing in. Well, I don't care. I'm staying up tonight.

Me mum's been introduced to the Twilight series...by me...tee hee. I called her Monday night after I saw the movie.

"Hey Beautiful!!"

"Liar"

"No I'm not. Go run down to my room RIGHT NOW, grab Twilight, and start reading it. Then give it to Giselle and let her read it. Then go see the movie with her and Aurora. Seriously."

"I can't right now (blah blah blah and other mom excuses)"

"Then go have Giselle go get it. I'm not getting off the phone with you until you have it in your hands and have read the first chapter."

Giselle gets the book, I talk to Giselle while mom reads. I give Giselle specific instructions to make sure mom reads it and does nothing else, and after mom's done, to read it herself. In school, if necessary. Then I tell her I'm calling back every hour until it's read. Mum said she'd only read the first chapter right now, then read the rest later. Ha ha ha. For those who've read the book, you know you can't put it down, and if you absolutely have to, you burn with curiosity and a NEED to read until you get back to it. And my mum's especially bad at this. We both are, actually. When a book is good, then kids, food, sleep are all put on hold while we read.

I called back about an hour later. Mom didn't answer.

"Is mom reading?"

"Yes."

"Good. Where is she?"

"I dunno."

"Okay. Make sure she keeps reading!!"

I called back another hour later. Mom answered. She was putting Thaden to sleep or something, so she couldn't talk. Then I told her ha ha, of course she couldn't just read the first chapter, and that I'd call at one to make sure she was still reading.

"No, I need to go to bed, Chloe. I really do. I'm sick" etc, etc

Around 12am mum calls me. Tee hee!!

"Jerk"

"Told you it was addictive!!"

"Yeah, but I really need to go to bed."

"No you don't, you need to read."

"No, I need to go to bed."

"No, you need to read. I'm calling at one to see where you are."

"No, really, don't. I need to sleep."

I didn't call back, but found out today that she read until 4am. My dad was on call, so he wasn't there to tell her to go to bed. She said she would have read until the sun came up, but Thaden cried, so she had to take care of him. Tuesday, she was on the second book, and today, she started the third book. I think she said she has about 200 pages left. Heck yeah, that's me mum!!! I love her!! I am a jerk, though, because I knew she'd stay up reading it. But they're awesome books. They need to be read. Aurora went and saw the movie today. Said she didn't like it that much. Well, she can go suck eggs with Jane Austen. Speaking of eggs, devilled eggs are delicious, and speaking of devilled eggs, we're having them tomorrow!! I'm excited. Bring on the cholesterol!! Did you know there's about 83% of your daily cholesterol allowance in one egg? And about 75 calories. Fun fact!!

I can't stop picking my fingers, and they're all bloody. Stupid me.

My right foot offendeth me with its ugliness. I should cut it off.  :D 

It would be so weird that if right now, something crashed through the window and killed me. 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. urbandictionary.com

bakeorbreak.com

bakerella.blogspot.com

cookiemadness.net

thepioneerwoman.com/cooking

cakespy.com

All awesome sites. If nothing else, go to thepioneerwoman.com/cooking. I love that site, and not just for the cooking. That woman seems awesome.

Raspberry. Gnat. Gnome. Pneumonia. Diarrhea. Gonorrhea. Weird. 

FLATULATE!!!

HORROR. I'm bored. I wish it were tomorrow.

Does anyone know 1337?

And out of curiosity, how many people actually read my blog? Leave me a comment. 

For lack of anything better to do

I have "Claire De Lune" on repeat

I have to read 7 articles for school. I don't want to. SO I'm coloring in my anatomy coloring book again. I'm learning about the anterior regions of the body. Head- frontal, buccal, mandibular, orbital, nasal, oral. Neck- anterior cervical, lateral cervical, supraclavicular (fun word). Thorax- pectoral. Abdominopelvic- inguinal, pelvic, pubic, groin, pudenal, perineal. Upper Limb- something, axillary, brachial, antecubital, antebrachial, carpal, palmar, digital. Lower Limb- coxal, femoral, something, something, something, tarsal, something, digital. Haven't memorised them all the way. Fun, though.

I had a really weird dream last night. Actually, all my dreams are really weird.

I hate writing essays when I'm not passionate about it.

I hate being forced to be creative.

I love my watch.

I love watermelon. That has nothing to do with anything.

I have started every paragraph with the word "I". So self-centered, and on my own blog, too! You know what's lame, though? I actually feel bad for talking about myself so much, even though it is my blog. It's stupid. I'm stupid. 

And now, a question: is it worse to be sick, or to feel and be fat?

Twilight and Anatomy

 

 

You guys should know me well enough to know that I don’t just “go along” with things. I have my own opinions. So when I say something’s good, I mean it. And when I rave about things, that’s only because it’s REALLY good. And I never ever rave about things. And I never obsess about things, like a little tween. Ever. I’m not lame like that.

So with that said, let me just get into it: EVERY ABLE PERSON MUST GO SEE TWILIGHT!!! For those of you lame enough to not have read it yet (and you know who you are) GO READ IT!! Seriously, it’s not just one of those follow-the-crowd things. It’s like, the BEST romance novel in the world. (That’s right. Jane Austen can suck eggs)

Thoughts:

Bella. Bella was an idiot. I hated the girl they chose for her. She needed to be softer. She was too skinny. (They made Rosalie a bit chunky, which made me really happy). And she needed to wear not-so-tight clothes. She needed to just be more average. And she had one of those faces that looked like she was always angry or glaring or something. Her mouth was stiff.

Edward is the perfect little emo in this movie. It made me WANT him. Like, seriously. I thought he was freaking UGLY before I saw the movie, but he totally grew on me, as did the other characters. I realised that he was hot in the “supermodel” way, not in the typical “omg he’s hot” way. He played Edward PERFECTLY. And the part where he was playing the piano….!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the part where he was lamenting over his “monster-ness” to Bella…I was like, “Come to reality and we can hate ourselves together!!” AH! He is so emo!! And so hot!! Yeah, yeah: “It’s just a book, you idiot. Stop acting like it’s real.” I know. I know I know I know. I was saying this too. And I’m not acting like it’s real. But he’s so perfect, and this movie’s so perfect. Life just does not happen like that, and that’s how I know it’s a movie. But oh man, if life DID happen like that, and Edward WERE real, he’d be MINE, and he’d play piano for me, and let me stand on his feet while dancing, and compliment me, and make me love myself, and would protect me, and smile his SO HOT crooked smile at me (which the actor-dude did well also), and would be romantic, and would be emo at me, and would listen to classical music and be able to name the song (this part was so hot….listening to classical music). I’m gonna have to go see that movie at least ten more times before I’m satisfied.

I loved the music, loved the cast (minus bella; didn’t really like Charlie either, but he was okay), loved the feeling, loved the interpretation of it.

And that would be the best way to describe the movie: it’s an interpretation of the book. It’s not the same, and they add in some things, but it’s okay. Just go to it, expecting it to be bad, like I did, and you should at least like it, or appreciate it, or something.

 

In other news, I went to the Body Worlds exhibit. LOVED it!! Hearing about anatomy, seeing photos, is all cool, but seeing it like this is just…!!!!!!! I really want to dissect a real person now. And a fetus. I really want to dissect a fetus. I’ve dissected two hearts, and a cat (which was reeeeaaalllyy cool!! I’ve got photos at home, even!), but dissecting a person would be so awesome. Hooray for opportunities at college!!!

 

I’m having piano withdrawals. Poor me.

Life or Lifelike Thought

I'm at my grandparents' house. They went to bed around 8pm. Ugh.

They have no internet connection. So I searched for one outside the house. The only ones I could find had only one bar. Terrible connection, dreadfully slow. But it's unsecured (I don't need a password) and it works, and that's all that matters. 'Course, no one's on Facebook to talk to, but that's okay. At least I feel connected to the outside world. 

If things work out, I get to go see this exhibit called Body Worlds 3. I am STOKED!! I remember my anat & phys teacher talking about this exhibit; she said it was awesome, and I wanted to go. And now I get to!! http://theleonardo.org/bodyworlds/ <---- For those who've not heard of it

I have books. Books books books. And an anatomy coloring book. I really wish I had brought my medical terminology flash cards. I feel like studying them. 

Kat, wanna hear something funny/sad? The performance I went to on Friday was the same as the one on Thursday. I thought they'd play different stuff, but nooo. I could be chillin' with you right now. Oh well. "Come What May, and Love It." That's the talk, right? Learn to laugh. It is funny, when you think about it. But also sad. *shrug* Life happens.

I'm under a heated blanket. Heck yeah.

When the 'Mates Are Away, the Chloe Will Play

What to do when you're alone in the dorm, bored of packing, and without friends?

Search for flair on Facebook? Watch movies on YouTube? Read a book?

....Or hold a personal DANCE PARTAY?!?!?!

Yes sir, that's right. Moved all the couches out of the way, blared some music, and stripped down to my tank top. Danced around spasmodically, smoothly, stupidly. Let loose, enjoyed myself. HO-LEE COW it's fun! I would NEVER do this around anyone, but alone, it's a gas! The night is mine, as is the dorm, and I'm taking full advantage of it by doing something I never have the chance to do. Oh my goodness. If you've never just danced around in your house with the music up high and the blinds all closed and no one around, you've not lived. Go do it now. Holy cow. I've been missing out.

Medical terminology flash cards rule!

HAPPY!!!

OH MY GOODNESS!! Would you like to hear about my day? No? Then why are you reading this?

A list of all the awesomeness of the day:

*Had toast with awesome spreadable butter and apricot preserves (preserves are the way to go!!)- See previous post for rant on food. Don't judge me!!! I know I'm a fattie.

*Went to math class and it was easy

*Wrote in a brand new notebook- This is always exciting! 

*Bought tons of sweet stuff from the University Bookstore: 

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo- Unabridged!! 1000+ pages long! I'm stoked. I've only read the abridged version.

The Anatomy Coloring Book- I got too sick of not having a Bio class that I caved in and bought this

Medical Terminology flash cards- Another "I want a Bio class" thing. Also, I had a medical terminology class in 11th grade, and knew tons of prefixes, suffixes, and roots and stuff, but I've forgotten a lot of it, and that annoys me, so I bought these to practise with! I've already memorised 25!!

A really cool pen that looks like a syringe

Gospel Principles- My Book of Mormon teacher suggested this, so I bought it

*Had stuffing for lunch- I LOVE stuffing!! See previous post for rant on food. 

*Did science homework and put some effort into it

*Got Reese's Cups from the vending machine- See previous post for rant on food. 

*Practised piano for an hour

*Went to science class and surfed the net the entire time

*Studied repentance in the scriptures- It's kinda essential to my salvation, and I don't think I understand it or know how to do it, so I'm finding out how to do it right. Then I got way tired and just sat back in the chair and fell half-asleep. Then I got me a Butterfinger. See previous post for rant on food. Still a fattie.

*Went to BIO 199 and surfed the net the whole time- That class is also helping me to realise that I don't want to have a job, I want to be a stay-at-home mom

*Decided to skip my English class- I came home and baked instead!! Whoo!!

*Baked Pumpkin Gingerbread and Ginger Cookies- Thank you allrecipes.com! Delicioso!

*Had stuffing for dinner- I LOVE stuffing!! See previous post for rant on food. 

*Ate a buttload of the cookie dough- See previous post for rant on food. And I'm a fattie.

*Went to a Thanksgiving potluck "feast"- Wasn't really. Had a few mini-Reese's cups and some ham. See previous post for rant on food. 

*Went to see the BYU-I Symphony Orchestra featuring Jenny Oaks Baker- SOO FREAKING COOL!!!! It made me happy!!

*Played piano for two hours- After the performance ended at 9, I played hymns, and practised a bit with my left hand, straight from the hymn book. I told myself I'd leave at 10:45. I didn't get out of there 'til almost 11:30. I just could NOT leave!! I even left the room once, with all my stuff, then used the bathroom, then decided I'd walk past the rooms again to listen, and went back in and played some more. I LOVE!!!! the piano!!!!!!!!!!! I also practised singing the alto on some songs. And my new favorite song is "Come, Ye Children of the Lord" (#58). It's so fun to play, and all the parts are beautiful and fun to sing. I felt a bit self-conscious singing at first, but then I just didn't care, and enjoyed myself. And I was pounding on the piano sometimes. And talking to myself. But it was FUN!!! And there was no one in the rooms around me, so it was okay. And then on my way out I stopped to listen to someone playing the piano. When I finally did leave, I opened the door and was hit by a blast of wind. It was EXHILARATING!!! I just smiled so big, and sang to myself. I was blown around all the way home, and I was just bursting with something so far past happiness, but there are no words to describe it. I felt like running, jumping, flying, singing 'til my lungs burst, hugging someone or something, shouting, exploding, all at the same time. I still feel like singing 'til my lungs burst. I just wish I were better at singing so I don't have to worry about hurting people's ears.

I just feel...happy! I can't describe it. I wish I didn't have curfew so I could go let loose outside. Run around in the wind, or something. I want everyone in the world to disappear, and I want to go outside and just be myself, and let life happen for right now. I am happy. I am more than happy. I can't even describe it. I feel happy. I am happy!!! And I'm choosing it. I am choosing to be happy! It's my choice. I choose to be happy! I love life! I love people! I love everything!!!! Everyone should get to be this happy at least once in their life. It's just pure...something! I can't describe it!!!!!! Someone could punch me in the face right now and I'd still love them. They could insult me, degrade me, spit on me. I AM HAPPY!!!!!! I really want to go out right now and tell everyone!! I want to give everyone a hug and just pass it on! I wish I could express this. 

Well, my loyal blog followers, I could keep typing about this all night, but I won't bore your brains anymore. I'll go read scriptures instead, and make myself more happy!! Thanks for taking an interest in my life, and for commenting! It's greatly appreciated, and lets me know I'm not alone!! Love you all!!!

Chloe "George" Lammi