HAIRCUT!!! HAIRCOLOR!!! MEGA-SUPER-NEON-AWESOMENESS: Number TWO!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY MANWICH!!!!

It's two shades of red and dark brown. NOT black, black is vomit.

So the story: I wanted to go light. LIGHT. Like, as light as mum would let me. So we got some colours to try it out, and did a couple of test strips, but even after double processing, they weren't light enough. She didn't want to bleach my hair, and it would have had to be bleached more than once, which would have fried my hair, so she tried to convince me to do a different colour. I said fine, but I was a tad disappointed because all I've ever done is go darker. But mum said she'd rather do dark brown + red strips instead of light blonde + dark brown strips, so I said sure, and I got the brightest she would let me (if I had it my way, I'd have it lipstick red, but that's not BYU-I honor code appropriate). So after much trial and tribulation, we came up with haircolours that I wanted and a haircut that I wanted (at first, all I knew was that I wanted short and light, which became short with lots of red, and I had to re-persuade mum to let me get it as short as I wanted it).

1. bought stuff

2. test strip 1

3. test strip 2

4. go back, buy different stuff

5. test strip 1 (red) and test strip 1 (dark brown)

6. go back, buy more stuff

7. test strip 2

8. red highlights

9. brown

10. red star

11. haircut

12. haircut

That's just for my reference, 'cuz I don't feel like writing it all out. It's a LOOOONG (and I'm not even kidding) story, much longer than I've written. But in a nutshell, we did lots of deciding, lots of trips back and forth, and many hours actually doing my hair. With all the time added up (driving, buying stuff, doing hair) it probably comes to about 10-12 hours. I FREAKING LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my mum. She does so much for everyone, and no one cares. She stayed up 'til 4 am colouring my hair, spent 4 hours cutting it (3 the first time, 1 the second time) (yes, she cut my hair twice), she cut my hair based on only a picture, she really didn't know what she was doing when she coloured my hair, and EVERYTHING turned out so well. I love my mum. She's so talented, and such a good example, selfless, caring, helpful, devoted to her calling; she tries to give us all that we ask for, loves us unconditionally, doesn't complain anywhere near as much as she deserves to, gets treated like crap, and still is kind. I asked her why she just takes it all, and she said, "I don't treat people based on how they treat me." Talk about Christlike. I want to be like this. I want to be like her. She's still so cool, and is spontaneous and fun, and funny, has style, is beautiful, thin, and so fun!!! I LOVE MY MUM!!! I wish everyone knew her and knew about her, because she's so awesome, and gets screwed so much!! Tomorrow is her birthday, and she's spending all of it driving people around for dentist appointments and stuff. Her birthdays always suck, her mother's days always suck, da doesn't really ever get her anything she REALLY wants for Christmas, even though she drops hints (don't get me wrong, da is awesome too and I love him and mum loves him and he loves mum), and she's still so cool. I wish I could repay her for everything she's done for everyone. She deserves SO much more than she's getting.  But I suppose that she'll be blessed in Heaven. 

Aurora's a jerk, to put it VERY VERY mildly. Especially to mum. "Oh, I'm a nice person to my friends. It's only to my family that I'm mean." I could go on and on and on about how awful she is, but you wouldn't believe me unless you saw it, and I don't want to sound like a butt. So whatever.

But yeah. My hair's awesome.

Other thoughts:

*Church was cancelled on Sunday (I was sad) but we all got along as a family, and people didn't do as much electronic stuff as they usually do; we all got along, and played games, and were together, and it made me happy. Except for Aurora. Aurora was asleep for half the day and wasn't around us. Maybe that's why it was a good day...Yeah, I do sound like a jerk. But I'm not kidding (and I'm not just saying this as "sibling hate" or whatever), if you saw the way she acted at home, when she was really being herself, you'd understand.

*We watched Wall-E on Sunday. It's a cute movie.

*I went to an FHE for YSA's tonight. We watched the new church movie about Gordon B. Hinckley. It was really good. But there were only two guys, one was 27, one was that nerd-stalker that I ranted about in a previous post, and the rest of the girls didn't really seem like my type of person. Sure, they are probably okay people, but I don't really want to hang out with them. 

*I went to the woods today and took pictures. It is so pretty out there, especially in the mid-morning light

*I sang along loudly to my music in the car and drove around for an extra 20 minutes because I wanted to keep singing along and driving

*I love playing the piano; I just wish I were actually good at it

*If I want to learn to play the guitar, I'm not gonna be able to have ANY nails. And it's gonna be a lot harder to learn than piano

*I love taking photos

*I don't mind sleeping, but I hate falling asleep

*I actually went somewhere on Saturday. With people. A girl who I was friends with in art class, and a couple of her friends. We ate then went to a school talent show. The talent show was AWESOME, I still love music, I still LOVE piano (oh my gosh, it was cool), ana ballerinas are beautiful, some random guy introduced himself to me (he was a junior...heh...), I was stared at by all the clones, but I didn't care, 'cuz I gots me some confidence, and I was reminded of Music Outlet. It was SO fun

*I got all the housing stuff worked out; it took forever. I'm gonna be rooming with E, and I'm gonna be in the same ward. Thank you, Heavenly Father! I know I had loads of help from Him.

*Everything happens according to the Lord's time. Patience. I've got my whole life ahead of me

Life is still cool

Hare Krishna

It's just not fun to blog anymore. My life is so uninteresting. 

On the 9th I slept in a tent out in the backyard. It was cold and snow was on the ground and I nearly suffocated in my sleeping bag, 'cuz the only way I could stay warm was by having my head inside of it, but it was so beautiful outside, and the moon was almost full, and the sky was clear. I left the top off of my tent so I could see the moon and have its light come in. That's probably a big reason why it never really got warm in the tent :P The tent was made for summer, so that could also be a reason. :D It was fun, though. Try it some night when you don't really feel like sleeping...or being warm. But seriously, there's a totally different feel and sound when you sleep outside. In the house, everything is still and dead, but outside, even if there are no noises, there's noise. I love it.

On the 10th we went sledding (not for very long, though). When we first got there at near-sunset, I went to go take pictures down by Lake Michigan. The sky was so cool, and the lake looked frozenish. I took some pictures, came down by the lake, looked at it, and decided I'd see if it really was frozen. I just stepped on it a teeny bit, just to test, but it cracked, so I didn't walk on it. I thought that it may be more frozen where snow had accumulated, because it must have been frozen for a while for the snow to be able to stick, so I tried a little way down where there was snow. I stepped on it, and it cracked again, but this time it seemed like there was a thin layer of ice on top, then a layer of water, then another layer of ice, which I assumed would be thick. So I stepped out onto it....

See the dark hole where my left leg went through? Up to my thigh?

Heh...yeah...it's a good thing I didn't go in all the way, because I didn't touch bottom, so who knows how deep it was? Methinks Someone was trying to teach me a lesson... :| 

So after I pulled my leg out, then laughed at myself, and told myself that my parents were right (again! When will I learn?!), I went back to the car, took off my socks, took off my snow pants (thank goodness I was wearing snow pants and then pants underneath that), dried off the bottom of my pants as best I could (thank goodness my pants didn't get too wet), and changed into different boots (thank goodness we had an extra pair of boots)(and I'm know that these weren't all coincidences or good luck). Then I went and found everyone, and Mum noticed right away that I wasn't wearing my snow pants: 

"Why aren't you wearing your snow pants?" 

"Um...(I look away and smile) the lake's not frozen."

So after that, I was going to sled, but after I got to the top of a hill, I saw the sunset. HOLY WOW, it was an AMAZING sunset. Definitely Rexburg quality. The pictures so do not do it justice.

After the sunset, I sled for a little bit, and we found this fake snowboard which you put on by sliding your shoes into some straps, and I went down the hill on that, and I'm sure it wasn't much like real snowboarding, but it was way fun and made me definitely want to try snowboarding sometime. But Mum said I'd need lessons for that, but I wouldn't need lessons for skiing, so maybe I'll try skiing first. 

Sunday was an awesome day, as always. I did nursery for two hours, but it didn't feel like that long, and there are only five or six kids in there, and three other people (one of whom did nothing- she just sat in a chair and texted for most of the time). That night I watched the CES fireside, and that was AWESOME!! I LOVE President Monson!!! I love listening to the prophet speak, and I didn't want the fireside to end. I wish we all could just sit and have church leaders teach us all day. 

On Monday Mum and I went and got stuff for doing my hair. I have a test strand developing in the back as I type. I love having a cosmetologist for a mom!! And I have no idea when she changed, or why she changed, but she's allowing me to do some awesome stuff with my hair. If it turns out cool, I'll post pictures. If not, I'll let it grow out and dye it before I get back to the 'Burg. But there's no one here whose opinion I care about, so if it turns out like crap, I don't really care. Hair grows, ya know? 

Tuesday I took a bath in the sink, 'cuz the shower wasn't warming up. Then I got cold and turned on the shower to see if it was warm, and it was, so I showered. I watched Thaden for Mum, and that made me happy.

I'm sure that other little things happened, but I can't remember them. But I wrote them down somewhere, so it's cool. 

Other thoughts:

*To keep myself busy, along with the homework, I've been reading scriptures a lot. It makes life so much better, and I've started to see that the scriptures connect. My Da's scriptures are all worn and marked, and I want mine to be like that, not new-looking. And I want to know the scriptures; I want to memorise the stories and know where to find things. They make me happy, and now I look forward to studying them, where before it was a chore. 

*I hope my hair turns out cool

*I think I'm getting better at playing the piano. I hope I am

*Store-bought bread is lame and air. I like real, thick, homemade bread. If I don't have that, I use saltine crackers. But I can't eat store-bought air-bread anymore. It's just gross.

*Blogging takes too long, 'cuz I like to describe everything, and write every thought

*Facebook is best when you don't get on every day, and when you do get on, just check things and stay invisible. Which works for me, 'cuz I don't have many friends on there, so over four-ish days I only get 7-10 notifications, or less than that. Life is fun without friends. No, I'm not complaining at all. I like being all alone like this.

*Excepting my last thought, I've found that focusing on the positives and blessings in life and not thinking about the future, but taking things day-by-day, makes life a lot happier. If I think about the future, I just get all depressed, because it's all the same, but if I think about now, and what I'm going to do today, I'm good. Focus on the here and now.

*It's in the single-digits outside right now. That shouldn't be allowed. The temperature should never get below 40 where humans live.

*I want to be the master of DDR. And I shall. I definitely have enough time

*I used my college ingenuity and created soup from a can of 98% Fat-Free Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup plus a can of Turkey Gravy, with a lot of water, some parsley, some salt, some pepper, and some onion powder. It tasted okay with some crackers crunched up into it. Better than nothing. 

*I'm hungry

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Another Random Post, for a quick update

I'm happy again. Stupid moods. I'm too intense. But I'm happy. 

The bread was delicious, I played DDR with Schink for a bit, then by myself, and now I'm listening to music on the TV, and I'm going to work on that report. It's due on Saturday.

Mum said she'd bleach my hair. I'm stoked!!!

I'm ready for life. I'm happy for life. I'm finding joy in the journey. I'm letting come what may, and loving it. I'm laughing at myself. I just wish I had a job or something so I could get out. But I'm happy. 

I'm glad I'm me, and that this is my life.

Because I don't believe When the morning comes It doesn't seem to say An awful lot to me All alone, all alone

Some random things:

*Last Sunday I was called to be a primary worker, and I'm stoked. I get to be in there with my baby bro, and this way Da can go to Sunday School, and I'll get experience with little kids

*I took pictures in The Beyond today, and it was BEAUTIFUL out there. I stood out there for like 10 minutes just looking at it

*I made three types of bread, and homemade brownies

*Nail polish is pretty interesting, and Wikipedia is awesome

*My list of "most favourite hymns" keeps growing. Pretty soon most of the hymns will be in there. But my most most favourite hymns are:

"Called To Serve" #249 (Has always been and will always be my first favourite)

"Lead, Kindly Light" #97 (First song I sang in church choir)

"Come Ye Thankful People" #94 (Second song I sang, I think, and that low F is just...awesome)

"Come, Come, Ye Saints" Men's Choir version #326 (Sounds so much cooler than the regular version, and again, that low F)

"Choose the Right" #239 (Really easy to play)

"The Morning Breaks" #1 (It's just pretty, and we sang it in BoM class once)

"Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains" #212 (Pretty also)

"Silent Night" #204 (I just like to sing the alto part)

"Angels We Have Heard on High: #203 (Fun to play, and I love the tenor and bass parts)

"Praise to the Man" #27 (Gotta love those Scottish folk songs)

"The Lord Is My Shepherd" Women's version #316 (Again, better than the original version; This song is so much prettier this way)

"For All the Saints" #82 (We almost sang this in choir, but didn't, but I liked it a lot after hearing it again on the Hymns CD)

"Master, the Tempest Is Raging" #105 (Fun to play)

"Be Still My Soul" #124 (I can actually play this one without going deathly slow, and it's pretty)

"Abide with Me; 'Tis Eventide" #165 (Pretty when played an octave higher, without bass and tenor parts, but pretty when played normally also)

"Christ the Lord Is Risen Today" #200 (I've only ever played the soprano and alto parts, but it's fun)

And I have secondary ones, but these are my absolute favourites and the ones that I chose to put on my iPod.

*You can't have a bad day when you listen to hymns all day

*The day is more satisfying and you feel better about yourself if you've worked for most of the time

*It is SO MUCH FUN to drive alone at night, blasting a song that you know, and singing so loudly that you strain  your vocal cords, and you start sounding horrible because your voice cracks, but it doesn't matter 'cuz no one can hear you

*It is SO MUCH FUN to play (or in my case, pretend to play) the real piano (not a stinky keyboard. So not the same), and when I was in The Beyond, I was thinking how awesome it would be if there was a piano out in the middle of the snow and I could play it outside

*I hate rap and R&B, but the Gorillaz are cool, 'cuz they're a mash-up of rap and rock and they're not vulgar. They're awesome. What would they be classified as? 

*I want to bleach my hair lighter, just for the heck of it, and 'cuz I've only gone darker

*I miss BYU-I

Let the sun shine, let the sun shine in!!

Not only does cauliflower look like genital warts, it also looks like brains!!! What a versatile vegetable. 

It snowed big, wet flakes today. It's the type of snow that you think of when you think "snow". I took pictures, not because I was in an artsy mood, but because I have no reason. 

I'm kinda bored. But happy and spontaneous to the end!

Complaints of a Lonely(ish) Soul

I'm cleaning my room, going through my drawings and other stuff that I saved from college, and looking at other drawings and stuff that I've saved. I have some cool stuff, and with every thing that I look at, the memories come back so clearly, even with stuff from, like, elementary school. It is so amazing, and so awesome, and I love it. Some of my drawings are crap, some are cool, some are hilarious. I've saved cards, notes, and even a glasses case that I had people sign. I wish I could show people this, because I feel like no one (besides my mum, whom I love, and who will always and forever be my absolute best friend in the world, even though I don't even tell her everything) has ever really gotten to know me, every part of me, and understands me. I would love to talk to my mum all the time, but she's busy. And I'm not terribly close with any of my sibs in that way either. All my friends are scattered across the country or are in Rexburg. So I've only myself to tell about me, and I do care, but it can be pretty repetitive, telling myself things that I already know. 

Whenever I do talk to people, my family included, the conversation always gets turned to the other person, and they talk about themselves, and I have to just stuff all my words back down my throat. Even when I came back from college, and I demanded that I have some time to just talk about me, everyone except my lovely mum scattered after about 10 minutes, and I couldn't tell stories about class, or life, or anything, and I felt like mum wasn't even really caring all that much. And it sucks, because when I talk to other people about their lives, I give them my whole attention, and mean what I say, and feel for them, and if I have to, I pretend to be enthusiastic. I let people dump on me, but when I try to dump, I either get ignored, no one cares (or maybe just don't express their caring, which is just as sucky), or I feel like a jerk for just talking about me. I feel spoiled for talking about myself on my own blog.

I'm not saying all this in an "emo" way, or to get comments, or to have people feel sorry for me or whatever. I just don't get it. Does this happen to other people? I can't be the only one who gets screwed all the time like this. What's probably going on is that my perspective on myself is warped, I'm not actually as nice or awesome as I think I am, and I'm just a stupid person who complains too much. It's probably that. But you don't have to read what I say, so go away, and I'll just keep myself company and wallow in my whateverness, and tell myself how cool I am from my crazy, warped perspective.

SO there!

And to keep me from dying of boredom, I've decided to give myself a report to do each week, due on Saturday. This week's topic: Nailpolish. I'm also learning music stuff, practising piano, and I've typed up some worksheets so I can learn from those medical terminology cards. AND I may do job-shadowing at the hospital. Sweetness, huh? But it'll all probably end up as words on my blog, and I won't actually do any of it.

But I still want to go back. I miss college, and my friends. Facebook just doesn't cut it.

Oh, and we had FHE for the first time in FOREVER (seriously) last night, and it's my job to do the lesson, and people didn't really pay attention, but I learned, and I cried. I hate crying when I bear my testimony. It's a big reason why I don't bear it more often. I hate crying in front of people, even my family. I go and hide in my room.

And that's the end. Back to organising, then to work on that report. Ciao, my draculas!

I’ll seek you out, Flay you alive One more word and you won't survive And I'm not scared of your stolen power I see right through you any hour

I had an adventure today.

Bike ride with Aurora in the sharp winter air, wind blowing, my face coming off because of the coldness. To the end, the end of the street. "Road Ends" sign. Down a dirt road, covered in snow. Junkyard. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Everything is so desolate and abandoned. 

Then down a bumpy hill on our bikes into the forest, explore a frozen riverlake, misstep, soak my foot. Backtrack, explore safer areas. Return, trudge up the hill, dragging the bikes. Go back, cold, but happy. 

I'm going back on Monday. This place is too perfect.