Good Friday Indeed

How does Sister do it? How does she balance flirting and flying? I want to be able to control boys, and have them wrapped around my finger, but also to have them know that I'm not theirs, that I'm out of their league. Perhaps I'm too nice. Or something. Gay.

I've been having such vivid dreams. The first in the line of 3 that I remember was about arranged marriage, where I was supposed to marry someone for some reason, and I felt a bit uncomfortable about it, but it seemed logical, so I was going to do it. Then we found out that the guy was supposed to be married to someone else, and it was a mistake with me, but luckily we weren't married yet because I didn't have a ring.

The next was about me, and I had migranes that made me think I was in an alternate reality instead of causing pain, and in this alternate reality I imagined that I had other powers. It wasn't really dangerous, but my friends and the doctors wanted me to get an operation to fix it. Brain surgery. But they couldn't perform it for some reason, so I had to wait, and continue, and either take the intense pain of the migranes, or do the alternate reality.

The third was that I was held hostage by a black man, and it had to end with either he or I dying. I escaped one day, and hid in a girl's apartment, and she gave me a large chocolate chip cookie. Then I knew I had to return to the black man's apartment and rescue my sister, because I knew that even though he wouldn't hurt her, she wouldn't escape on her own.

Weird dreams. Vivid dreams. They're interesting. I wonder if they are interpretable, or if they're just my mind having fun.

I worked out today. Rowing machine. Abs. It's a beautiful feeling to have your abs burn. Also, I danced tonight. Many songs. I dressed up and looked dang cute. I gained confidence. I asked a couple of guys.

The guy who asked me out on a date does have an interest, and I'm trying to not encourage it, but I want to get dance lessons from him. He really is a good dancer. I just need to somehow make it clear that I'm really not interested, I just like dancing with him. It'll be sad next semester when I don't have a steady dance partner that I know, but perhaps I'll be good enough by next semester that all the really good people will ask me to dance, and it'll still be super fun. Good times. I'm determined to become good at dance now. It's my new project.

Also: I tutor a guy on Saturdays who is SUPERDANGCUTE and I want him to ask me out. Though he would have to get a different tutor, because you're not supposed to date your tutees. I get to tutor him tomorrow. Ahh, cuteness. It's good times.

Today was a good day. I absolutely love dancing, now that I somewhat know what I'm doing.